


Smoke and Gunpowder

by eskalations



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types, Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Gender Changes, F/M, Genderbending, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Slow Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-29
Updated: 2020-07-15
Packaged: 2021-03-02 22:53:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 29,933
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24434656
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eskalations/pseuds/eskalations
Summary: Even now, in the privacy of her room and away from the prying eyes of their government, he stiffened at her proximity. The careful lines drawn between the two of them seemed to blur at times like these when they were alone and out of uniform. In the dim light of her room, it was easy to imagine that they were just a quiet country boy and bold city girl again. (ROYAI GENDERBEND AU)
Relationships: Edward Elric/Winry Rockbell, Maes Hughes & Roy Mustang, Riza Hawkeye/Roy Mustang
Comments: 28
Kudos: 68





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: Wow, so I haven't written a fanfic since 2017? That's crazy! I watched FMA: Brotherhood a few weeks ago and couldn't get this ship out of my head. I know that my writing skills are a bit rusty, but hopefully after writing more frequently, I'll be back in the swing of things. This originally started out as a oneshot, but if people enjoy it, I am willing to make it into a series of oneshots based in this universe.
> 
> Please be sure to leave a review and tell me what you think!

**East City - Spring of 1914**

Patience had always been her strong suit.

There were many things she wasn't – calm, collected, stoic (ironically these were all things that were usually recommended in a soldier) – but patient she was.

Except for tonight.

Raina Mustang's dark eyes had been glued to the clock for the past two hours, willing the hands to move faster. No matter what she had done to try and distract herself – shower, cook, read – nothing could keep her mind off the eternal ticking of that damn contraption. So now here she sat in her pajamas with a wet head, eyes still burning from the smoke produced by her attempt at dinner, and book wide open to page 3 – with nothing to show for it except raw anxiety.

She worried her lip between her teeth and shut the book with a huff - there was just no use pretending anymore. She glanced at the pile of papers in front of her and set the book resolutely on top of them. The paperwork she had brought home was surely not getting done in these conditions and she couldn't take her mind off the situation long enough to even bother with it.

He should have been here by now. They agreed on 2100 hours and now it was 2130 – and if there was one thing that Ray Hawkeye was not, it was late.

It looked like neither of them were living up to their usual standards tonight.

The mission was simple enough. Take one of Madame Christmas's girls out to dinner, get the information she had to offer, escort her back to the hotel she was staying in, linger for just long enough to make it seem like their good time had extended beyond their meal, and then get out of there. There was no reason it should be taking this long.

_Unless…._

Before that train of thought could go any further, there was a timid set of knocks on her door. By the third rapt of knuckles on wood, she had already swung the door open wide and was pulling her visitor inside.

"Colonel!" The man nearly exclaimed, a touch of disapproval in his tone. Ever the cautious soul, her bold actions set his mind reeling. What if someone had seen his dark-haired superior dragging him desperately into her apartment? What would people think?

However, that was the last thing on the Flame Alchemist's mind.

Her eyes narrowed as she gave him a once over. In his civilian clothes, he looked just like the unassuming young man she had met all those years ago – there was just one difference now. While his hair and clothes were typically in perfect order, they were in utter disarray today.

First Lieutenant Hawkeye's usually carefully combed blonde hair was now mussed in a way that implied much less professional activities had taken place prior to their meeting. If that wasn't proof enough that he had been up to no good, the white button up badly hidden by his long brown coat certainly was. With several buttons messily inserted into the wrong holes, it wasn't hard to guess what he had been doing before visiting her apartment.

Despite the incriminating evidence on his person, Raina released a sigh of relief. His appearance was as it always was after one of his "dates" – right down to the slight smudge of lipstick left on the right side of his mouth.

"So," She started casually, a smirk appearing on her lips as she gave him another once over before continuing, "It looks like you had a good time."

A pale hand reached out to pluck at one of the buttons of his shirt – however, her wrist was caught up in the strong grip of her adjutant. His hands were warm, familiar and calloused just as she'd expect a sniper's to be.

"Colonel," His voice was near pleading, face brooking no amusement. While his grip lessened, and allowed her hand to drop – the stern expression on his face did not change. She could see the line of his jaw tighten as he remarked quietly, "You know better than anyone that I have very little fun doing your dirty work."

"That's harsh, Lieutenant," The young woman's lips dropped into a pout, wounded by his words.

Despite the sad look on her visage, the man did not recant his statement.

"It's true." He spoke resolutely, joining his hands behind his back and straightening his spine a bit. She could see in his face though that he held no actual malice for his comrade – he was just tired after working overtime to get the information they needed. The Colonel was grateful to him – however, she could not pass up the opportunity to tease the serious man just a bit. Especially after such a cruel remark.

"You know what I think?" She countered while circling around to his back, hands reaching out to divest him of his coat. If there was a slight shake in her appendages due to the history that she had with this part of his body, he was certainly too polite to point it out. "I think you're just frustrated that your superior officer is a better wingman than your fellow male office mates."

Hawkeye didn't miss a beat.

"Considering the fact that I take orders from my younger, female superior every day without complaint – I highly doubt that's the reason for my distaste of these activities," With his coat off and hung by her door, he followed the young lady into her rent home's small living area. "But while we are on the subject of things I am not happy with, let's talk about the way you just let me in the do – wait, have you been practicing?"

"Huh? Practicing what?" Raina paused on her way to the couch, looking back at him curiously. The young man was glancing up at the ceiling as if the answer was going to materialize right in front of him.

Hawkeye's eyes narrowed, his face suddenly resembling the bird that was his namesake.

"It's smoky in here," He stated flatly, his hand drifting into the air and making a slight gesture as if to point it out.

. "I didn't even notice." The Colonel raised her dark brows innocently, choosing to play dumb in an attempt to keep her pride intact. He knew she was a terrible cook and any further evidence of such was sure to just add fuel to the fire.

The young man's expression, however, let her know that he most _definitely_ did not believe her.

Ignoring his reaction, she sunk into the cushions of her couch and allowed an exaggerated sigh to slip from her lips as Hawkeye remained standing. The movement caused the straight, black bangs on her forehead to go airborne for a moment. "I was so busy with paperwork that I lost track of time – any reason you chose today to be late for the first time ever?"

Amber eyes glanced dubiously at the alchemy book laid out on top of the "paperwork" the Colonel had claimed to be doing so diligently before his arrival. If you looked closely enough, you could even see a few lines that still needed signatures that were left empty. The young man wished he could say he was surprised, but that would be a lie.

"The eagerness you displayed at the door says differently, sir."

The Colonel feigned ignorance. "I have no idea what you're implying, Lieutenant. I was simply trying to pull you into my home before anyone saw you standing on my doorstep looking like _that_."

The man looked down at his clothing stoically before glancing up again and meeting her gaze. While there was a slight flush in his cheeks, his expression remained the same – as though he wasn't standing in the middle of her living in a questionable state of undress.

"If you'll excuse me, sir – I am going to go and refresh myself before we continue this conversation," Hawkeye gave her a quick salute before turning in the direction of the bathroom. However, before he could make it around the corner, he looked back at her and their gazes met once again, a slight smile making its way on to his face. "Why don't you go clean up whatever you were attempting to cook in the kitchen? It seems like the rain isn't the only thing you're useless in."

Before she could even react, he was already down the hall and slamming the bathroom door shut. _The audacity._

Raina sat shocked for a moment before rolling her eyes and rising from the couch. Same old Hawkeye – observant as ever. He knew her far too well at this point in their lives to fall for any of her tricks.

Entering the kitchen, she cleaned out the now burnt pasta stuck at the bottom of the pot she had left on the counter. The young Colonel had meant to get rid of such incriminating evidence before her subordinate got there, but it must have slipped her mind once she saw the time.

' _Oh well…'_ She thought to herself as she tossed the remnants of her burnt dinner into the trash. No use in hiding her weaknesses from a man who had been her professional shadow for years. Ever since their initial transfer to East City from Ishval, they had been a package deal. She was grateful for it – since their time in the city certainly hadn't been spent idly.

With General Grumman being a very _lenient_ leader, a majority of his work fell on to the shoulders of those who were under him. While this meant more work for them, Colonel Mustang didn't mind since the more accolades she received, the easier it was to rise in the ranks. Knowing this, Grumman usually reserved his most high profile of cases to the Mustang unit.

Being as feminine as she was – most people did not look at Raina Mustang as a huge threat to their position. Despite her title as a State Alchemist and the youngest Colonel currently serving in the Amestrian military, most top dogs in the brass barely gave her a second glance. Sure - some of them were suspicious of her rise in the ranks – however, many just assumed she had slept her way to the top.

The amount of investigations that had been done on said accusation were numerous, but so far no evidence had come forward to warrant an official court-martial. Let them think what they wanted as long as it didn't affect her goal of being able to repent for the crimes she had committed.

Taking note of her appearance in the reflection of the pot she held, she couldn't say she was surprised by the assumptions. With long black hair and exotically dark features (she thanked whatever higher powers there were daily that her mother was Xingese and contributed to her unique look), Raina could fit right in with Christmas's unassuming gaggle of girls. Her flirty nature and feigned laziness was a façade that played into this persona that she had carefully crafted whenever she had decided what path she wished to take to the top.

She didn't necessarily like being looked down upon for such behavior – however, she was a patient woman. Colonel Mustang knew what she wanted and knew exactly what it was going to take to get it. After the actions that she had taken in Ishval, it was paramount that she become Fuhrer eventually – the sooner the better.

The return of her Lieutenant broke her from her thoughts before they could take an even darker turn.

"So," She casually remarked, dropping the pot into the sink before turning to face the young man. "What's on the menu?"

This Hawkeye was one she was more familiar with. The young man's shirt was now buttoned correctly and his light hair was styled to perfection just as it normally was. If it wasn't for the slight coral smudge that was still visible at the corner of his mouth, she wouldn't have even been able to tell he had gone out earlier.

Glancing at the pot she had in the sink, his response was dry. "Since I'm assuming that pot is the only one in your possession, I suggest a simple stir-fry."

"Fine by me."

They were quiet as they worked to get a small dinner for two prepared – Ray at the stove and Raina on ingredients duty. The smell of burnt pasta was soon replaced by a new, delicious aroma.

Once dinner was finished, they sat across from each other at her small table.

"Which of my sisters entertained you tonight?" Raina asked casually as she took a sip of water, glancing at Ray over the rim of her glass. The young man was taking his first bite and nearly dropped his fork at her choice of words.

"Could you not refer to it in that way?" The Lieutenant finally collected himself long enough to answer, his expression already back to the stoic mask he donned daily. He knew she was just fishing for information – however, he knew her well enough to know that she was also trying to get a reaction out of him. "You know better than anyone that nothing of that sort has ever happened on any of these dates."

Raina shrugged non-committedly, taking a bite of her food and waiting for him to continue.

At her silence, Ray sighed before finally taking a moment to answer her question. "It was Vanessa – you should have been able to tell from the shade of lipstick she chose to leave on my cheek."

He took another bite as Raina chuckled, "I figured she was the one that had been sent. The Madame knows that Vanessa prefers Easy City clients. Did she tell you how long she would be in town?"

Ray gave her a dry look, "We were too busy discussing the information at hand to really talk about anything personal. I will be seeing her tomorrow though."

"I'm sure we'll cross paths at some point," The Colonel commented offhandedly, grinning at the slight panic that appeared on her subordinate's face. "Don't worry, I will make sure we aren't being watched."

Ray gave her a doubtful look before returning his attention to his meal. Raina couldn't let this go without comment.

"You took her out for dinner, right?" She asked, spooning another serving into her mouth before continuing. "Did she steal the food off your plate or did you get so distracted by her womanly wiles that you forgot to eat?"

Ray remained unaffected. "We actually went to a show instead, that's the reason I was late."

The young woman was surprised by this. Her Lieutenant usually stuck to dinner with his dates as it was a more casual experience. In the civvies he sported now, she imagined he had looked quite out of place at the East City Opera.

"Vanessa must have felt quite special then," Raina remarked carefully, taking another sip from her glass. "You don't usually treat the girls to a show."

"I was being followed."

"Oh?" This had the woman pausing mid-sip.

Ray finished chewing before setting down his fork. His dark eyes met her own, the concern evident in his expression.

"This is the first time I have caught someone tracking my movements," The man shared, folding his hands under his chin. "Vanessa felt it too. They were inexperienced from what I could tell in covert operations, so we lost them pretty quickly – however, I chose to remain cautious for the rest of the night and diverted from my usual routine."

Raina sighed in relief, her own dinner forgotten as she leaned back in her chair. "Trust the Hawk's Eye to catch something like that."

"The information Vanessa had was not of an incriminating nature," Ray remarked, speaking on the subject for the first time that night. Raina leaned forward to better hear the man's soft voice. "I have no idea who would have been following me tonight – so please be on your guard when you are out of the office."

"What was the information?" Raina asked, choosing to ignore the warning. Someone following them from afar wasn't going to discover anything noteworthy – her team was much too careful to fall victim to such a ploy.

Hawkeye stood, gesturing for her to follow him down the hall to the bedroom at the back of the house. Her bedroom.

Rolling her eyes at his worry, she followed her subordinate. He often was overly cautious when sharing with her whatever secrets he had discovered, checking for bugs and speaking quietly before relaying the information, but tonight he wasn't taking any chances. The bedroom at the back of her house was the one furthest from the door with curtains that would hide them from the eyes of anyone standing outside.

After shutting the door behind him and surveying the room, Hawkeye turned to address her.

"The information she had was in regards to General Hakuro." He finally revealed, his eyes following her as she took a seat at the end of her bed. "Like I said, it's nothing incriminating – but I know it's something that will interest you."

"I'm listening," Her eyes lit up at the mention of her rival. Despite the seriousness of the conversation though, she couldn't help but add on, "– and I'm sure the bugs that the enemy has hidden are all ears too."

Hawkeye was unamused by her comment. Ignoring his put-out expression, she gestured for him to continue - and, with a sigh, he followed her orders.

"Hakuro is planning on petitioning for Colonel Becker to be moved to Central when a spot is open," The Lieutenant revealed, watching as a familiar fire became evident in the Colonel's eyes. "He heard that you were planning on applying for transfer and has chosen to counter Grumman's recommendation of you."

"Tough luck," Mustang commented, crossing her arms tightly across her chest. "I have it on good authority that Colonel Becker has been having an extra marital affair with one of the Madame's girls out in New Optain."

"It's Mollie" Hawkeye confirmed, his eyes looking quickly over to the window before meeting her gaze again. It was in these moments that his position as a sniper was most evident – always watching. "The Madame has a plan to keep this transfer from happening but she wanted to run it by you before taking action herself. That's why I'm meeting Vanessa tomorrow – to let her know your answer."

"What's the plan my foster mother has come up with?"

"Blackmail," The young man commented dryly, as if it could have been anything else where the Madame was involved. Her greatest weapon was the information she had against pretty much any high-ranking officer in the military – of course the answer was blackmail. The Colonel gave him a small smile at this solution.

"Let me guess," She stood and walked over to where he was stationed in the corner of her room, her voice low and even. "His lover will threaten to go to the press if he chooses to leave her alone in New Optain?"

"Precisely."

"He has a wife and kids too, does he not? I think Hughes shared with me once that he did…" Hawkeye nodded in confirmation, prompting a deep sigh from his companion. "So such a story would affect not only him, but other parties as well?"

"Meaning he has much more than just his career at stake." The Lieutenant finished lowly.

Raina nodded, stopping in front of him. It was so strange to see him without his gun holsters positioned over his shoulders – but she knew better than to assume that he was not armed. He never went anywhere without at least two loaded pistols on him. She knew him so well, yet any outsider would think they were strangers from the way they danced around each other.

Even now, in the privacy of her room and away from the prying eyes of their government, he stiffened at her proximity. The careful lines drawn between the two of them seemed to blur at times like these when they were alone and out of uniform. In the dim light of her room, it was easy to imagine that they were just a quiet country boy and bold city girl again.

But too much had happened since those days for them to lose themselves completely.

Glancing up at Hawkeye, Mustang chose her next words carefully. "Do you think it's fair that one day we may have to answer to our sins - yet for Becker to answer to his, we would have to destroy the lives of others in the process?"

The young man remained still, meeting her gaze steadily. Always her moral compass, he was the one she usually came to with such sensitive questions. While his voice certainly held a degree of sympathy, there was a firmness in it that spoke of a steely resolve.

"The goal is to not have to reveal this information," He reminded her gently, his chin tilted downwards to better gauge her reaction to his words. "Vanessa said they will do as they always do and hang it over his head just long enough for our transfers to be processed. After that, Mollie will conveniently disappear from his life."

Raina nodded, aware of the usual protocol the girls followed. They knew just how to play their cards right to further her career while remaining unassuming. It wasn't their fault that the men in the military seemed to have both loose lips and loose morals.

"You can tell Vanessa that I'm fine with the plan," Raina conceded, though there was one thing about the situation that bugged her. "Do you really think he'll take the bait though?"

One of Hawkeye's blonde brows rose. "In a position where bad press can possibly get someone court-martialed? I think it's more than likely that he will."

She couldn't argue with that.

"Alright," She agreed, nodding slowly as she worked through the plan in her head again. She wouldn't be applying for transfer for another month, so Mollie should be able to hold Becker off long enough to get everything processed before anyone became too suspicious.

Hawkeye gave her a stiff nod as well, acknowledging that he heard her orders. With his mission now completed - the young man began to shift, his eyes drifting to the bedroom door, signaling that his thoughts were now focused on leaving.

"Should I muse you up a bit before you go?" Raina asked, knowing this would rattle his nerves. Her hand reached out to play with a button on his shirt, the warmth of her palm seeping through the fabric and causing him to stiffen. "Do you think that would get tongues wagging again in regards to my activities outside the office?"

"It was already risky enough for me to come here in the state that I was in," Hawkeye reminded her – a clear warning evident in his tone. This was her lieutenant, always playing by the rules. "Please do not do anything else that could possibly result in an investigation. The Madame's services already could get us into serious trouble if anyone found out."

The Colonel gave him an innocent look at his words. "I don't know what you mean, Lieutenant – I was simply offering you the same services that my sister provided you with."

He raised his brows again. "I highly doubt that, _sir_."

The young woman shrugged, turning away from her subordinate. Opening her bedroom door, she walked back down the hall to where their dirty dinner plates still sat on the table. When Hawkeye made a move to pick them up, she batted his hand away. He had cooked for her, the least she could do was clean up the dishes.

She brought him his coat and helped him put it on. While the look he gave her was one of thanks, there was a slight warning in his eyes as well. She smoothed her hands over his arms before taking a step back, giving him the space she knew he needed.

But before he could turn the knob on the door, she stopped him with a gentle hand.

"Lieutenant?"

The young man turned towards her, wondering what else she could have to say.

With a smirk on her face, the Colonel stepped forward. Suddenly, their breaths were mingling and her usually unshakeable Lieutenant was frozen. Staring deeply into his eyes for a moment – she waited, watching for a reaction.

Before anything could be said, she reached up to the side of his mouth and swiped at the coral colored patch of skin that he had left unattended earlier. Drawing her fingers back, she gave him a wry look.

"Coral's not my color, but we wouldn't want anyone getting the wrong idea – would we?"


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So, today we have the meeting of Ray and Raina. While I wanted to do a chapter where there was more interaction between the two, this chapter seemed necessary for backstory purposes. I also realized I never specified the age changes for our lovely characters. Since Roy was born in 1885 and Riza was born in 1889 (canonically), I just decided to swap their ages. That's pretty much the only big change there is.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I was not going to post this chapter so quickly after the last, but life happened and I needed a distraction. Earlier, my sweet dog of 17 years, passed on and this has been just about the hardest day of my life. His passing was peaceful, but it didn't make things any easier. I was in the middle of writing this chapter when I received the news, so this piece will always have a special place in my heart. I'm still not sure if I'm back in the swing of things with my writing, but I'm planning on going back and editing when I'm feeling more like myself.
> 
> Please let me know how you enjoyed this chapter! I love getting feedback!
> 
> This chapter is dedicated to Skippy (May 18th 2003 - May 29th 2020)

**Augenblick, East Area - Summer of 1903**

The town of Augenblick was less spectacular than she could have ever imagined.

' _Blink and you'll just about miss it'_ The man had said as she exited the train earlier that day. He must have seen the look of surprise on her face at such a small station existing in what seemed to be the middle of nowhere. There was no town in which the station was on the edge of, no bustling streets with families doing their Sunday shopping, no cars puttering down the road to their destination – all she could see were fields stretching out endlessly in every direction.

The man who had gotten off the train with her was long gone by the time she pulled out the booklet the Madame had given her. Honestly, she should have realized what this small blip of a town was going to look like by the map in front of her – there seemed to be nothing but green bleeding across the wrinkled pages.

At fourteen, she wouldn't call herself incredibly resourceful – but at least she could read directions. The Madame had circled her destination with a fat, red marker – making it stand out amongst all the greenery it was surrounded by.

The girl started walking and hoped that she was traveling in the right direction.

The dusty road crunched beneath her shoes and she had to cringe as small particles of dirt made their way between her toes. Maybe wearing the new shoes she had bought for this occasion hadn't been the best idea...but it was too late to change them now. She had wanted to impress Master Hawkeye by dressing as professionally as a young girl could, but now she was beginning to see why the Madame had kept insisting that she needed to wear something a little more _comfortable_.

' _I want him to see me as a lady,'_ She had shared with her foster mother while buttoning up her crisp new blazer. All her clothes had been starched earlier that morning before she was set to be at the station and even her usually black unruly mane was combed and slicked to perfection. _'I want him to see me as an apprentice worth taking.'_

The Madame had simply smiled at her young charge's determination, smoke pouring from her lips as she spoke.

' _My dear – with the amount I'm paying him for your lessons – he would take you on even if you were a newborn baby,_ ' The words did little to abate her nerves.

She didn't want the man to pour his efforts into her because he had to – she wanted him to teach her because he saw _potential_.

The amount of information she had on Master Hawkeye was scarce. She knew that he was an excellent freelance alchemist, who's early research had been compiled into a single publication that had made waves in the alchemy community.

However, that was it. After his first work was published, he retired to the country and was now known as a bit of a recluse. From the Madame's information, it seemed the military had propositioned him multiple times to become a State Alchemist, but to no avail. Raina found it hard to believe that he wouldn't jump on the opportunity since with that grand title also came grand funds for research.

The only other piece of information she had received from her source was that the man had a son who also lived with him. The age of said son was unknown to her still.

' _Now you must be careful, dear,'_ Her older "sister" Margaret had warned her that morning, patting her head gently in an endearing fashion. ' _You will be the only woman in the house – so, you must make sure they are treating you right. If they try anything funny, you have to promise to call us immediately.'_

Madame Christmas had scoffed at the idea.

' _Once they get her riled up once, they'll know better than to mess with her,'_ Madame Christmas insisted without worry, taking a long drag from her cigarette before exhaling a cloud of smoke. _'We've taught her well. She knows how to defend herself.'_

Her foster mother wasn't wrong; she _could_ defend herself. However, it had been a long time since she had lived with a male counterpart. She couldn't remember her father (her parents had died when she had been just three years of age) and the Madame rarely housed young men in the bar.

The thought of living alone with two men had caused her quite a bit of anxiety, but she wasn't going to let it stop her. Even as she trudged down the road, sun beating down mercilessly upon the top of her scalp – her gait was confident as she embarked on this new chapter of her life.

She had been walking for about half an hour before she came upon a small town. A groan unknowingly slipped from between her lips at the sight of it.

Augenblick was small – so small you could hardly justify its place on the map. From what she could see, it was comprised of one long row of buildings lining two sides of a dirt road that spanned just about 100 meters. From the looks of the way the lots were set up, it seemed that they were all commercial.

A few people milled about, swinging bags full of produce as they went about their morning routine. There were stands set up in front of the buildings where farmers were selling their goods to residents and chatting merrily with their neighbors. This version of the Sunday Market was very different from the bustling one back in Central that Raina was familiar with.

Gripping her suitcase tightly in her sweaty palm, the girl continued to trudge forward. She had passed a school house and a general store before finally getting stopped by a curious shopper.

"Can I help you, dearie?" An elderly woman asked, taking notice of the map clutched in her hands. After giving the girl a once over, she continued with her line of questioning. "You don't look to be from around here – are you looking for something?"

Raina was caught between wanting to find the Hawkeye residence on her own – to prove her status as an independent young lady – and wanting to get some help since the map's lines were starting to bleed together in the heat of the midday sun.

"Yes," The girl said, accepting that this was a small concession to make in her journey to becoming a worthy young apprentice. She could always be independent tomorrow. "I am looking for the Hawkeye residence."

The woman looked at her strangely for a moment. Raina's confident stance did not waver though – she knew it probably looked strange for a young girl to seek out an older man, but she wasn't here to worry about appearances. After a brief pause, the woman answered her cautiously.

"It's just down main," The elder spoke slowly, still unsure of what the young girl's motive was. "If you keep walking that direction, you will come to a fork in the road. Take a right if you're looking for the Hawkeye residence, take a left if you want to traverse the desert."

Raina laughed nervously at her dark humor. At this point, she wasn't sure which path the woman considered to be more dangerous.

"Thank you!" Before she could take her leave though, the woman's hand reached out to grab her wrist. This stopped the young girl dead in her tracks as she was met with a serious set of dark eyes, concern evident in the way the woman drew her near to speak quietly in her ear.

"What do you want with that old man, child?" Her voice was low, suspicion blending with worry. Raina glanced nervously at the shoppers who passed them, but none even batted an eye at the strange scene in front of them. The woman tightened her grip again, forcing the girl's gaze back to her own. "If you need any help, all you have to do is tell us."

Shaking her wrist from the woman's grasp, Raina brought her hand protectively to her chest – map and all.

"I am an apprentice, ma'am," The girl insisted, tone bordering on rude. These country folks may be fine with lecturing young ladies and manhandling them in the streets, but she certainly was not. "I am here to learn alchemy from Master Hawkeye and that is all."

She could tell the older woman was affronted by such a brash response, not used to a girl speaking to her elders in such a way – however, she recovered quickly. The surprised look on her face morphed into one of sympathy.

"I didn't mean to offend you, child," The lady insisted, picking up the bag of vegetables she had dropped to her side at the beginning of their conversation. "I just know that the elder Hawkeye is not one to be trusted. Ever since the death of his wife, his behavior has been strange. We've rarely seen him for the past few years – the only one that ever comes into town is his son."

The people mulling around the market were now eyeing them – pausing at the stands nearby to watch the encounter while still attempting to appear casual. They would pick up an apple, turn it in their hands to check if it had any soft spots, and then glance quickly over at them. She could tell by her faces that, at the mention of Berthold Hawkeye, she had set the subject for Sunday gossip amongst the small populace.

"Just because someone does not wish to mingle with others does not mean they are any less trustworthy than you or I," Raina insisted, defending her new teacher from the accusations of the lady in front of her. Already this town was a little too judgmental for her taste. "I could care less how social he is as long as he is a dutiful teacher."

"Child," The woman pleaded, a hint of desperation in her tone as Raina made to walk away, suitcase swinging in her hand. Luckily, she did not grab her this time – however the fear that infused her tone, had the young girl turning to regard her once more.

"I know it seems like I am simply an old gossip who has nothing better to do," Raina fought the urge to raise her brows at the expression since that was precisely what she had pegged the woman as. "But you must listen to me – there is something wrong with that man."

The genuine concern in the woman's voice caused a shiver to run up her spine. Raina would have argued it was just a chill – however, in the middle of summer, that was unlikely. Seeing that she now had the young girl's attention, the woman continued.

"His son was so gaunt during the first few years after his mother's death, that it looked like a breeze would knock him over," The woman revealed, her voice so low that even someone walking past them would have to strain to hear her words. "He finished school early and after that – well he just disappeared. We didn't see him for months then suddenly one day he walked up to Mrs. Roth's stand to buy potatoes. By that time, he had filled out a bit – but there was a haunted look in his eyes."

Raina's curiosity was piqued, though she couldn't help but have some doubts in regards to the woman's claims.

"Madame," The young girl began carefully, lowering her tone to match the volume of the elder. The townspeople were still watching them – however, their interest seemed to have lessened once their conversation had become harder to hear. "I don't think it's fair to assume that something bad happened to him during that time. He and his father could have taken a vacation."

"No one left that house." The woman insisted, causing another chill to run through the girl. The older woman spoke with such conviction – like she knew that whatever it was she suspected was true.

"Maybe they were just enjoying some time alone together after the son finished school?" Raina tried to reason with the woman, desperately grasping for straws in an attempt to abate her fears. "Why does his disappearance have to mean something bad happened?"

The serious look in the woman's eyes was one that Raina would remember for a long time after.

"Because he was covered in bruises when he returned."

It was this conversation that had Raina shaking slightly on the doorstep of the Hawkeye residence. After the old woman had finally let her continue on her way, she was left with more fear and anxiety than before. She was more fearful now than she had been when she had originally been told she was being shipped out for alchemy instruction.

The house was nothing spectacular. It looked like it could have been grand once upon a time, but the broken shutters and overgrown garden implied that once hard times had hit, all efforts of upkeep had been abandoned. Even so, the view from the porch was one that's beauty couldn't be denied – the rolling green fields that surrounded the home for miles looked as though they were straight out of a painting.

Raina took a deep breath. She could do this. No amount of town gossip was going to keep her from doing what she had come here to do. She had been waiting her whole life for this and that old biddy was not going to ruin her chances of becoming a great alchemist.

As far back as she could remember, she had been studying alchemy. Madame Christmas liked to joke that the young girl had practically forced her to read alchemical essays to her at bedtime before she was able to read them on her own. One of her favorite alchemical works had always been the book of research Berthold Hawkeye had published a few years before her birth. Never in her wildest dreams could she have imagined she would have the honor of studying under him.

It was this realization that had her fist raising resolutely to the door. _She was not timid. She was not shy. She was not scared._ No one could deter her from the goals she had already set out to achieve. She would knock on this door and accept whatever fate lay on the other side.

But before her hand could even come in contact with wood, the door was swinging wide open in front of her.

Raina stood frozen. _Well, she certainly hadn't been expecting that_. Her fist fell swiftly to her side.

Standing before her was a young man only three or four years her senior. He was tall – certainly taller than she was – with a sturdy build that marked years of hard labor. His skin was golden, much like his hair, and there seemed to be a fine sheen of sweat covering him as if he had just come in from the fields. She watched as a droplet traversed down the weather worn features of his face before dropping off his sharp chin.

She had begun to sweat herself at his sudden appearance. She tried to tell herself that it was from the heat - but later she would question if that had really been it at all.

Despite his humble background, the man's spine straightened automatically at the sight of the young girl on his doorstep. Assuming the role of a gentleman – though looking nothing like one in ripped pants and a sweaty white shirt – he bowed his head in greeting to her.

"I must apologize," His voice was deep, much deeper than the voices of the boys she had gone to school with. "I did not realize you had arrived, Miss Mustang."

Being addressed so formally, she realized what set him apart from the boys at her school. He was not a boy; he was a man. His voice was too deep to be that of a boy's and his features were too hard to still be touched by the innocence of childhood. In the face of his own maturity, she puffed out her chest a bit before primly joining her hands in front of her.

"Hello, Mr. Hawkeye," She answered, clearing her throat to adopt a much deeper tone that would better match his own. "Please, just call me Raina. Miss Hawkeye sounds much too formal when we are going to be housemates."

The young man appeared unimpressed by her words, causing another bout of sweat to break out beneath her starched white shirt. Any hopes that she had conceived of the two of them being friends, seemed to be thrown farther and farther out the window as their staring contest continued. His amber eyes beat into her own, resembling those of a hawk's.

' _Fitting_ ,' she thought wryly to herself, as his gaze dropped to the suitcase she had laid to rest at her feet. Her hand itched to pick it up and turn right back around, leaving this house and his unnerving stare in the dust – but he surprised her.

Picking up her suitcase himself – the young man stood to the side of the doorway and gestured for her to make her way inside. The expression on his face was unreadable, but the grim lines of his face softened as she hesitantly stepped forward into the humid air of the home.

The inside of the house was much like the outside – dark and rundown. She could see a living area with a small stone fireplace off to the side, the furniture worn from many years of use. There was a door at the back of the room that she assumed led to a dining area and kitchen. The stairs were nestled in the corner of the area, leading to where she assumed the bedrooms and bathroom would be.

It was certainly different from what she was used to – but she guessed it could be considered cozy.

Careful to school her features, she turned back towards the younger Hawkeye. She didn't want him to think of her as a spoiled city girl. Despite their rough start, she still held on to the hope that they could be friends. She must not have covered her reaction quickly enough though, because when she met his gaze, there was a knowing look in his eye.

"I know it's not much _, Miss Mustang_ ," He emphasized his use of her formal name, pointedly ignoring the fact that she had asked him to call her Raina earlier. His words were polite, but she could hear a harsh undertone in them. "But I assure you that you will find everything you'll need to further pursue your alchemical studies within these walls."

Embarrassed at the censure evident in his tone, the young girl gave a quick nod of understanding.

"Yes, sir."

Satisfied with her quiet response, he gestured for her to follow him up the stairs. She grabbed her suitcase in her sweaty palm before following his orders.

"My father is having one of his bad days, so you will have to wait until tomorrow to make his acquaintance," Raina could feel herself deflating in disappointment, her footfalls heavy on the old wooden stairs. She had really hoped she'd be meeting her master upon arrival. "However, I am sure you are tired from your journey and will want this afternoon to rest."

"Oh, I'm not tired," Raina insisted, despite the aching in her feet. "What are your plans for the rest of the day?"

Without batting an eye, the young man turned to look at her over his shoulder.

"I'm going hunting," His words implied that he figured this answer would somehow affect her sensibilities.

Being raised in a bar though, Raina had never been the squeamish type.

"Can I come?" She asked innocently, following behind him as he led her down a hall at the top of the stairs. The strong set of his shoulders stiffened in surprise at her request, stopping him mid-step.

"I don't know," He answered slowly, clearly caught off guard by her words. The surprise on his face was short lived though as his features quickly settled back into the stoic expression he seemed to be so fond of. "Are you going to scare off our dinner?"

"Our dinner?"

The young Hawkeye had to grin as he continued to lead her forward. Like a dutiful guest, she followed closely behind – waiting for an answer.

"Surely you don't think I am going down to the market to get our food for tonight?" He finally asked, his hand turning the knob of a door leading to what she assumed to be her bedroom. A few doors down, she could just make out movement underneath the door that resided at the end of the long stretch of hallway.

"Of course not," She answered evenly as she stepped into the room, setting her suitcase by her feet. There was a bed, a dresser, and a desk. It wasn't much, but it would do. Out of the corner of her eye, she could see the young man studying her face. If he was looking for a negative reaction this time around, she wasn't going to give it to him.

"So," She started, crossing her arms over her chest and turning to meet his gaze once more. "When do we leave?"

His answering smirk made her heart soar – though she would never admit it.

"Half an hour."

Her heart continued to beat sporadically even after he had closed the door behind him, leaving her to unpack and dress for their outing. However, the heavy beating of her heart wasn't from the small smile he had given her or the moment of softness she glimpsed in his eyes before taking his leave.

 _No_ , her heart was beating because she had seen the bruises on the back of his arms through the material of his shirt.

Falling back upon the mattress, she stared blankly up at the ceiling. Just what kind of secrets were hiding within these walls and just what did it all mean for her?


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time for the Royai trip to Resembool! Finally - Ed, Al, and Winry are here!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: This is probably my favorite chapter so far! Please let me know what you think!

**Resembool, East Area – Summer of 1910**

To say she had given him quite a scare was an understatement.

After coming back to the small inn they were staying at for the night, Hawkeye had hoped for some quiet time to reflect. It wasn't every day that you came across a failed human transmutation and just the thought of it sent a wave of sickness through him. He needed to lie down, or read, or clean his guns – or something just to keep his mind off the terrifying scene.

It hadn't occurred to him that his superior officer was thinking the same. However - her methods of distraction tended to be a bit more dramatic than his.

By the time the clock struck midnight - he had read, in its entirety, the book he had brought for his journey on new age weaponry and had also cleaned and reassembled two of his firearms. Stretching his arms back behind his head, he had almost decided to turn in when the strangest feeling drove him to his feet.

Something was _wrong_.

Much like how his eyes were similar those of his namesake, his instincts were reliable as well. Such acute senses had made him an excellent candidate for sniper as well as an excellent candidate for bodyguard of one Miss Raina Mustang, the notorious Flame Alchemist.

It was a strangely vivid image of her – injured and bleeding – that had him tapping as calmly as possible on their shared door. Though he knew their reservations would cause some brows to raise, as the one who was tasked with her safety, he insisted that on the road he have access to her at all times.

On the other side of the door, he could hear something fall to the ground followed by a muttered curse. After a moment of shuffling, there was the sound of heavy footsteps before the door was pulled open to reveal his commanding officer.

Her appearance told him everything he needed to know about what she had been up to before he knocked.

Ray Hawkeye had seen Raina Mustang in many forms. He had been acquainted with the young, bright-eyed Miss Mustang for years before joining the military and had known her throughout the time that she was hailed as the Hero of Ishval. But another darker version he had become acquainted with was the one that was staring back at him right now.

This was the trauma-stricken, guilt-ridden Raina Mustang that he had become privy to after experiencing the horrors of war. The one that he would sometimes find passed out on the floor of her apartment from overindulgence when the pain got to be too much. The one who he had found more than once with a gun stuck in her mouth and eyes wide with fear, her finger trembling over the trigger. The one who had told him that if she could do it all over again, she would have left Ishval in a body bag.

The Lieutenant Colonel looked more like a guilty child now than a supposed war hero. She was out of uniform –jacket and pants thrown haphazardly across the bed, her boots thrown to the far side of the room – and her hair was tied up in a frizzy ponytail. The red silk pajama top she wore had a damp spot running down the center that also stained the leg of her matching pajama pants. An abandoned whiskey bottle, now staining the carpet of the inn's floor, seemed to be the culprit behind her frazzled appearance.

Hawkeye had trouble meeting her eyes when she was like this – when she was so vulnerable. Never had he imagined he would see the day when the spunky little city girl that his father had taken in would appear so broken. It was heartbreaking, really.

Raina opened her mouth - as if to plead her innocence – but closed it quickly. It was no use; he knew her far too well to fall for any of her charades.

The silence between them was heavy, neither knowing what to say.

What _could_ you say?

Without attempting any type of scolding, the Second Lieutenant shouldered his way past her – leaving a surprised (and _dizzy_ ) young woman in his wake. Immediately, he went to take care of the discarded bottle that was leaking out on to the floor. Crouching down, he rubbed a finger over the now ruined carpet.

"They're going to make you pay for this."

At his dry words, the girl let out a humorless laugh. She stumbled her way over to the small couch in the corner of the room and unceremoniously sank into it. While she was doing this, he took the liberty of discarding the bottle and throwing it into the trash.

"That's the least of my worries." She remarked, her voice husky from the many drinks she had indulged in. There was a bit of self-loathing in her tone and a touch of shame in the way she raised her wrist to cover her dark eyes. "I've just tried to recruit an 11-year-old boy into the Amestrian Military - and you want to know the worst part?"

Hawkeye didn't have time to form an answer.

"He'll probably take me up on my offer!" There was a crazed edge to the slurred words, her glossy eyes meeting his as she released a puff of air that he imagined was supposed to be a laugh. "He'll probably take me up on it because of the false sense of hope I gave him."

Ray knew that he should let her rant, if simply to lessen the hurt she buried so deep within her heart. This was how these nights always ended up – her going off on drunken tangents while he calmly listened and waited for her to pass out from the alcohol. Her next words though had his blood running cold.

"This is just like what I did to you – this is why you followed me to Ishval."

At that, he couldn't remain silent.

" _Sir_ ," His voice brooked no room for argument, his careful steps leading him over to the side table where a pitcher of water sat. He didn't want her to see the pain clearly written across his features at her biting words. "I assure you that the decision to join the military and take part in Ishval – was mine and mine alone. Don't flatter yourself into thinking that you were the only reason I chose to go."

"I wasn't the only reason, but I was _one_ of the reasons – right, Lieutenant?"

He could have cursed himself for his slip of words, but instead he chose to remain silent. In her state of drunkenness, she wouldn't even remember this encounter come early morning.

"I did not wake up today thinking I would be met with such horrors."

Hawkeye couldn't hide the grim look that appeared on his face at his commanding officer's words. His hand nearly shook as he poured the young woman a glass of water. He hated seeing her like this. Silence enveloped them as he brought the glass over to where she was seated on the couch. Her head was tossed back and eyes were closed – but it didn't matter, she sensed him. She accepted the offered glass with a sigh

It wasn't until he was sat on the chair across from her that he allowed the ironic response to escape his lips.

"That's quite a statement for a soldier." Raina gave him a withering look from over the rim of her glass. The young man shrugged, "You and I both know that as a soldier, anything can happen once we enter the battlefield."

"I wasn't expecting a battlefield." She reminded him, setting her drink down on the wooden coffee table between them. "I was expecting a middle-aged set of alchemists – not children playing God."

The Lieutenant tilted his head to the side, regarding her with a curious look.

For what it was worth, Raina Mustang was typically a logical person. He would never go so far to call her calm or collect – for she was not – in fact, she was quite impulsive. However, for all the rash decisions he had seen her make on the battlefield, holding a child up by the collar and demanding an explanation out of him was not an action he had really come to expect of her.

* * *

" _Where are they?! Where are the Elric Brothers? I want them found!"_

_Her voice shook with anger, eyes wide in disbelief at the scene in front of her. She knew what this was. She was no fool. She had studied alchemy for a long time. She knew what these boys had tried to do – and it caused such a blind rage to build up within her that she felt as though she might explode._

_How could a pair of children be so foolish?_

_At such a clear order - Hawkeye immediately about faced, leaving the house to gather more information. Which was easy, since everyone in town seemed to know the only other place the Elrics would be besides home._

_The Lieutenant Colonel had busted through the door, shouldering past a surprised old woman. She would worry about manners later, all that was on her mind right now were these kids who apparently believed they had the right to tamper with fate._

_Nothing could have prepared her for the sight that she was greeted by in the small automail workshop._

_A young boy sat in a wheelchair, blonde hair unkempt and eyes haunted with grief, missing both an arm and leg. By his side stood a tall suit of armor. Before she could even register that her legs were moving, she was standing over the trembling boy._

_Grabbing a hold of his collar, the woman hauled him up so that they were eye to eye. Somewhere in the background, she could hear the disgruntled words of the elderly woman as well as a dog barking in warning. She didn't care. She needed answers._

" _We went to your house and we saw the floor! What was that?! What did you do?!"_

_The boy's golden eyes stared pointedly at the ground – the shame radiating off of him near palpable. Before Raina could say anything else, a cold metal hand made contact with her arm._

" _We're sorry…We didn't mean it." The voice sounded like that of a young child's, distorted by a hollow echoing that seemed to originate within the suit. "We're sorry…we're sorry….we're sorry."_

_The suit of armor began to shake, bringing forth another revelation._

" _Wait are you - ?"_

_She didn't even have to finish her question. All she knew was that her information had been clear – there were two Elric brothers. That could only mean one thing._

_She was looking at them._

* * *

"I was mad."

Her quiet voice brought him back from his reverie. In the dim light of the room, he could see the pain she held in those dark eyes. Staring up at the ceiling, she let out another short, humorless laugh.

"I could hardly believe two children could hold that much power." She revealed, turning her face towards him. Though her words were slurred, the thoughts she shared were strangely sober. "That much power at such a young age – it can destroy someone."

Hawkeye felt his back burn at her words. _She was speaking from experience_.

"That's why you want to give them the opportunity to repent." Raina's eyes widened in surprise. _How did he always seem to know exactly what she was thinking?_ No matter how much emotional distance they put between themselves, it was like their minds were on one shared wavelength. "You don't want them to end up like us. You want them to be freed of their sins early on so that they have the chance to live."

She huffed. Of course, he had been able to read her so easily.

Looking at him now, it was hard to remember the quiet country boy she had come to know in her youth. He sat with his back straight – so professional even if he need not be – and still in uniform though he had already retired for the night. Even his hair now – once frizzy and bleached from the sun – was combed over to better fit the persona of a well put together soldier.

The only glimpse she could find of that once young, country-bred man was in his eyes – hard but honest. Just as they had always been.

That was Hawkeye – steady and true. So unlike her.

It was at times like these, when she found herself deep in the whiskey, that she remembered the reason why he no longer looked like that innocent man who had found her on his doorstep all those years ago.

It was because of her.

The guilt that engulfed her at that moment, almost had her reaching for the bottle again. If only he hadn't thrown it out when he invaded her room.

"Where did you get the whiskey?" He asked after watching her eyes drift to the trash bin beside the table. He knew better than to think she would pack some in her luggage for a day trip, especially when their job was supposed to be easy. Besides - with her luggage packed full of extra uniforms, extra gloves, and a wide array of unnecessary beauty products – he couldn't imagine that there was much room left for anything more.

Raina had the sense to look guilty at this.

"I may have given the innkeeper a few thousand cenz to procure it for me."

"Sir!"

"What?" She threw her hands up in mock defense. "I just wanted something to take the edge off! I didn't mean for it to get _this_ bad."

Ray looked at her dubiously. She had never been one to _casually_ drink – it was all or nothing for her. It was a bad habit she had picked up from his father. So desperate was she to impress the old man that she would often indulge right along with him to prove she was no delicate girl.

It was just another part of their lives his father had ruined.

"You don't want rumors going around that the youngest Lieutenant Colonel serving in the military is a good for nothing drunk."

"They say much worse." She insisted, crossing her arms over her chest. "With what they say about my bedroom activities – I would be honored if they demoted me to simple drunk."

He could hear the hurt in her voice as she said it. When sober, she tried to cover her distaste for the way people talked about her behind her back. It was only when she got deep in the bottle that she allowed herself to be completely honest.

She had dreams – dreams too big for a person her age that could only come true if she continued to rise in the ranks. The only way to do so was to go along with whatever persona people foisted on her. A flirty young girl was much less threatening than an ambitious one and she assumed within a few years, the words and assumptions wouldn't bother her so much. However, at just twenty-one years of age, she still had a lot to learn before she could become completely okay with the act she had decided to play.

Hawkeye's eyes held sympathy, though his voice was hard as he spoke.

"There would probably be less rumors if I stopped showing up at your apartment and hotel rooms in the middle of the night." Raina pouted at his words. The light on the table flickered in the tense air of the room.

"We don't have to be strangers." She muttered sadly, knowing that this argument never got her anywhere. Whether it was the events of the day or the booze, she pressed on further. "Friends go and check on friends. The fraternization laws say nothing about friendship."

Hawkeye gave her an exasperated look, his amber eyes smoldering in the dim light of the room.

"Friends don't end up in bed with their friends." He reasoned bluntly, standing from his chair. This conversation had gotten too personal – lines were being crossed. He shouldn't be here. "You know that what happened once, can't happen again. You and I have goals to fulfill – sins to repent for. If anyone ever finds out about what happened, it would be over for the both of us."

Raina knew what he said was true – still, it didn't make it hurt any less.

"Strangers it is then."

Those were the last words she said to him before he took his leave. Pausing at the door, he turned to regard her one last time.

"No more asking innkeepers for alcohol."

Then he was gone.

That night, as Ray Hawkeye lay in bed – he thought back to his conversation with the young Rockbell girl earlier that day.

* * *

" _Lieutenant Hawkeye?" Her voice was quiet, unsure. "Have you ever had to shoot anyone?"_

_The man turned to regard her. She was a tiny little thing – though he supposed she was probably tall for her age. There was a distant look on her pretty features, her clear blue eyes staring at the floor as if she was afraid of knowing the answer._

_He wouldn't sugarcoat it for her. He knew better than to hide the truth from a child. If they ever wanted this endless ring of violence to stop, they needed to start with the younger generation. The only way they could learn from the mistakes of their elders – was to be told of them first hand._

" _Yes...I have," He answered her gently. He could see the young girl's pale hand grip her tray just a bit tighter._

" _I hate what you soldiers do." Hawkeye was surprised by the venom in the seemingly sweet child's voice. "Soldiers like you are the reason my mom and dad left for the war and soldiers are the reason they're dead. And now you…now you're here to take Ed and Al away too."_

' _Ah,' he thought to himself. 'She's afraid of losing them in the same way she lost her parents.'_

" _If they go, that decision will be theirs and theirs alone." He began slowly, amber eyes gazing at the wall. He could see himself, years ago, fighting internally over the decision to join the military. "Yes. It's entirely up to them now."_

_He could remember how helpless he felt knowing that Raina had been shipped off to war – fresh out of the academy. How disgusted with himself he had felt when he found out what they had used her for – a human weapon._

" _Whether to move forward or stay still…" All the hopes he had possessed to become an engineer and go off to school after the death of his father flew out the window the second Raina decided to join the military. He was faced with a decision then – to either watch from the sidelines or watch her back. He had chosen the second option._

" _It's their choice, they choose their own path." Just like he did, the Elrics would have to make this decision themselves._

_He heard a sigh come from the young Rockbell beside him. He had been so caught up in his own thoughts that he had almost forgotten she was there. Instead of the look of dejection she had given him earlier, her face was now morphed into an expression of genuine curiosity._

" _Mr. Hawkeye," The name sent chills down his spine. It reminded him far too much of his father. Despite his distaste for the address, he tilted his head in her direction to signal that he was listening to what she had to say. "Why did you become a soldier?"_

_He supposed with the way he had been talking earlier, he shouldn't be surprised by her innocent question. She was harmless enough, so he felt like he could be honest with her._

" _Because," His voice was quiet, just in case someone was listening. "There's someone I have to protect."_

_The answering look in the girl's eyes told him everything he needed to know._

_She understood._

* * *

He turned over, listening for any sounds that may have signaled his traveling companion was still awake. They had an early train to catch in the morning and he knew that if she did not go to bed soon, he would have to practically knock down the door to get her up in the morning.

Thankfully, he heard nothing.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "What are you doing here?" He asked in a quiet voice, aware that any of his neighbors could hear the conversation between him and his female commanding officer. Sure, it wouldn't be unusual for a man his age to be entertaining a young woman at this hour – but if anyone saw that the woman in question was the Flame Alchemist herself, they would both be in deep trouble.
> 
> "I already told you. I need you to suck my neck."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Here's another chapter! I think I've decided that, once all this is written out, I will rearrange the chapters so that they are in chronological order. As it is right now, this is just a series of oneshots - but I'm hoping that, in the end, I will have enough chapters that I can go back and make it a little easier to follow. This chapter definitely fits the mood of FMA 03 a bit more than Brotherhood, but follows the Brotherhood timeline. I wanted to go ahead and introduce Mustang's Team - however, they aren't really in this one much. I'm hoping to do a "mission" chapter in the future where we can see their personalities a bit more, so watch out for that!
> 
> Also, no I haven't forgotten Maes Hughes...he'll be introduced in due time!
> 
> Thank you for reading! Please let me know what you think!

**East City - Spring of 1913**

It was just a typical day in the office.

Raina Mustang was having an interesting morning. The night before, she had met with a few of her "sisters" at the train station and had taken them out for a night on the town. In other words, they had hopped from bar to bar – acquainting themselves with the owners and staking claims on who would get each area.

Though Madame Christmas was stationed in Central, she was well-known amongst the underground information network throughout Amestris. The bar owners knew that any agreement they made with one of Christmas's girls was sure to bring in a hefty amount of cash. Not only were the girls trained in information gathering, but they were trained in other _aspects_ as well. Once men caught word of the sultry vixens that had just arrived in town, the cash would be rolling in, as well as the secrets.

Of course, the night before hadn't been all business. Raina and the girls had plenty of fun catching up. Alice and Madeline remarked on how much healthier and happier she looked this time around as opposed to the last time she had traveled to Central. Helen couldn't help but agree.

"I'm moisturizing more." The girl answered, nursing a glass of gin. She wasn't about to tell them that it was probably from the lack of booze in her daily diet. The last time she had gone to Central, she was still strung out from what had happened in Ishval. She still was – however, a sense of numbness had replaced the once crippling guilt that resided in her heart.

"Where's Ray?" Helen had asked as they made their way to the next bar on their list. Madeline had laid claim to The Broken Bottle, so the next stop was Wicked Whiskey. "It's been so long since I've seen him. I was hoping you would bring him out with you tonight."

"You know that we can't all be seen together." Raina reminded her, pushing a stray strand of dark hair behind her ear as a car whizzed by. The roads were busy for a Tuesday night. "It would look suspicious if he were ever to meet up with you. What would people say then?"

"That three is a better time than two." Raina shoved the girl at the implication, stumbling under her slight buzz. The high heels she had chosen to wear certainly weren't helping her balance either. They all giggled as they entered the next bar, an unspoken agreement amongst them that they would enjoy the rest of their night.

And enjoy they did – if Colonel Mustang's slight hangover wasn't evidence enough – there was a fresh bruise adorning her neck as proof of the good time she had.

So," Havoc drawled from his seat, cigarette hanging loosely from his lips. "You have a good time last night?"

The man sat with feet on top of his desk, pushing his chair back on its hind legs. Lunch was soon approaching and it was obvious that mentally he had already checked out for the day. Beside him, Breda dropped his pen as well – he had been pretending to do work for the past half hour – in favor of listening to what his boss had to say.

Knowing that she had a role to play, the young woman smirked at her comrades.

"I had an excellent time." The blonde soldier sniggered, the suggestion behind her words evident. He grabbed the cigarette from between his teeth and looked like he was going to say something else – however, her next words stopped him. "What about you, Havoc? Did you have any fun last night?"

"Hey!" The man nearly fell out of his chair. From the other side of the room, Hawkeye's lips turned up in a small smirk as he continued his paperwork. At least, _someone_ in her office was working. "I have _plenty_ of fun!"

"Your dating record says otherwise." Breda commented under his breath. This had the Second Lieutenant turning on him, eyes blazing in defense.

"Well, what about yours!"

"What _about_ mine?!"

"It's not like girls are knocking down your door at the opportunity to spend the night with you!"

"How would you know?!"

"I bunked with you at the Academy. Trust me, I _know_ these things!"

As Breda and Havoc continued to squabble, Mustang turned her eyes to the other gentlemen in the room. Falman was sitting at his desk with his nose buried in a book, ignoring the argument that was taking place across from him. The silver haired man usually kept to himself, avoiding involvement in the chaos that seemed to plague the young Colonel's office. Fuery was trying to keep to himself as well – however, the young man's dark eyes darted nervously over to the older men every few minutes as they both teetered back in their chairs.

Hawkeye, per usual, was unaffected – or at least he appeared to be.

Colonel Mustang knew the sniper better than most and couldn't help but notice the faint flush of his cheeks. It was hot in the office, but it wasn't _that_ hot. Besides, his cheeks only seemed to redden whenever he glanced at her – which was every few minutes since he was, in fact, her bodyguard and was supposed to have his eyes on her at all times.

 _Who was she kidding?_ She knew exactly why he was blushing.

At the sight of his obvious embarrassment, she could feel the skin of her face warming as well. Turning to face the window, she gazed out at the parade grounds in front of Eastern Command, memories of last night flooding back to her as she watched new cadets cross the yard.

Yes, it was a good night indeed.

* * *

" _I need you to suck my neck."_

_If the situation were any different, Raina could have laughed out loud at her adjutant's look of shock. However, she meant business. His amber eyes were nearly bugging out of his head as she stumbled into his apartment. She wasn't drunk per se, but she had consumed several drinks with the girls and was beginning to feel the after effects._

_When she entered the living room, she couldn't help but chuckle. Paperwork was spread out on the young man's table, giving her a clear idea of what he had spent his night doing._

" _Haven't I told you to stop bringing your work home?" She asked, glancing down at the form in front of her. It wasn't due for another week!_

_Hawkeye stood at the door, eyes still wide. Once he had gotten over the initial shock of her barging into his apartment, he stepped out into the hall and quickly glanced both ways. When he was satisfied that no one was there, he shut the door before turning to her with a look of disbelief._

" _What?"_

" _What do you mean 'what'?!" The man whisper yelled, crossing the apartment. "Someone could have been following you!"_

_Raina gave him a smug look. "Who would be dumb enough to trail the Flame Alchemist?"_

" _I can think of plenty of people who would be 'dumb' enough to try and get whatever dirt they can on you, sir," He was towering over her now, his handsome features hardened by anger. Even his jaw was tense, causing his words to come out as a hiss. "You can't just be showing up here drunk!"_

" _I'm not drunk." She insisted, though her glassy eyes implied differently. She wasn't up to her usual "depressive" stage of inebriation – however, it was evident that she had had more than just a single glass that night. "If I were drunk, would I have been able to drive myself here?"_

" _You DROVE?"_

_Raina plopped down in the dining room chair he had been seated in just a few moments earlier. "No, I'm not that dumb."_

" _I'm really beginning to wonder!"_

" _Insubordination!" She picked up the form regarding the Bauer case that lay in front of her and held it in the air, waving it at him in a mock angry fashion. "I should write you up for that."_

_He reached for the paper. "Before or after you get court-martialed for fraternizing?"_

_Her reflexes dulled from the booze, he was easily able to pull it from her grasp. This left her pouting. Some colonel she was – acting like a petulant child._

" _I told you I wasn't followed." She insisted once again, crossing her arms over chest. Her darks eyes looked up into his – despite the bleary quality to them, he could see her sincerity as well. "I promise, I wasn't."_

_Ray sighed, placing the paper back on the table. He left the room momentarily in the direction of the kitchen, before returning with a glass of water. Without a word, he handed her the glass. She accepted it gratefully._

_"What are you doing here?" He asked in a quiet voice, aware that any of his neighbors could hear the conversation between him and his female commanding officer. Sure, it wouldn't be unusual for a man his age to be entertaining a young woman at this hour – but if anyone saw that the woman in question was the Flame Alchemist herself, they would both be in deep trouble._

_"I already told you. I need you to suck my neck."_

_His night had been going so well – and then happened._

_Without waiting for an answer, Raina discarded her long black coat over the back of her chair. He fought the urge to give her a once over as the tight navy number she had been wearing came into view. The ruby red of her lips certainly wasn't helping either. She definitely looked the part of a flirty soldier tonight._

_Yes, this would look very bad to any outsider that happened upon them. Her in such sultry attire and him in his casual set of pajamas. If the neighbors caught wind of this, they would be out of the military by morning._

_Shaking his head, he realized he had forgotten to respond to her unusual request._

" _Why?" There was genuine curiosity in his tone. He sat in the chair next to her, back ramrod straight. This entire situation was incredibly unprofessional. The Colonel on the other hand was unbothered, unclasping the jewelry that circled her slender neck._

" _Major Foster saw me walking with our source back from the Wicked Whiskey. The informant told me he had some information for me, so he offered to walk me to my apartment." She took another long sip from her glass before continuing. "I had no idea the Major was a frequent patron of the bar and that he would recognize the man. Apparently, he was a bit suspicious – so he followed us."_

" _He followed you?!" This information unsettled him greatly. What if the major had seen her come here? What if he figured out that the Colonel's business with the bar hand had been business rather than pleasure? Raina seemed unconcerned though._

" _He followed us to my residence, where we made a big flirty display in front of the door before entering." Hawkeye opened his mouth to say something, but she raised a hand to stop him. "I paid the man a hefty amount to go back to the bar and tell them all about his conquest of Colonel Mustang. He stayed about half an hour before leaving. I mused him up a bit before he left so, if the Major saw him on his way out, there would be no question as to what we had been doing behind closed doors._

" _How do you know he didn't follow you here?"_

" _I waited another half hour before coming to you." She leaned back in her chair, stretching her limbs out before her. The Lieutenant pointedly ignored the very high heels on her very long and exposed legs. "If the Major waited around for that long, I would question his intentions completely. He saw what he needed to and moved on – I don't doubt it."_

" _Then why are you here?" Hawkeye finally asked, still unsure where this story was going. It was already midnight and they both needed to be at work in a couple of hours – well, he needed to be anyways. The Colonel was probably going to trounce in late under the guise of a hangover._

_At his question, she leaned forward – one elbow precariously placed on the edge of the table. There was a playful smirk on her dark features._

" _Because I will see the Major tomorrow afternoon during the Aerugo talks and I need to look like I spent the night between the sheets." She put it so simply, as though what she was asking was no big deal. For someone who had been drinking earlier that night, her words were strangely sober._

_Well, maybe all that stumbling around she had done earlier was because of the heels and not the booze._

_Still, this wasn't a good enough explanation for him._

" _Why didn't you just have your 'date' do it?" He asked, one brow raised in question. His posture had refused to relax during the entirety of their conversation and he felt as though every nerve in his body was on end. He stamped down the urge to rub a sweaty palm through his hair._

" _I'm not going to let a stranger give me neck!" Her voice was a bit loud for his taste, but the incredulity was clear. Once again, he found himself staring at her in disbelief._

" _Why not?!" He fought to keep his tone low. He could feel a fine sweat beginning to break out on his forehead. Maybe lighting the fireplace hadn't been such a good idea on a night like this…but how was he to know that his commanding officer would barge in and ask for a hickey?_

" _What do you mean 'why not'?!" Raina stood, hands firmly on her hips. In this position, she towered over him. "I have standards, you know?!"_

" _Shhhhh," He warned her, glancing at the thin walls of his dining area. If the elderly woman next door heard them yelling, she no doubt would come and investigate. "Would you keep your voice down?"_

_The Colonel crossed her arms, eyes narrowed in a glare. Rather than stand down, Hawkeye glared right back._

_She knew better than to proposition him like this. She knew exactly what was a stake._

_It was bad enough that he kept having to check in on her at night during her brief stint of alcoholism not that long ago, but coming and asking for "favors" of him was a whole other problem entirely._

" _I'm asking this of you in a strictly professional sense." Raina promised, shifting her weight from one side to the other. "If I wasn't going to see the Major tomorrow, I wouldn't be so worried. My collar doesn't cover my neck though and I know he's going to be looking for proof of what he saw."_

_Her pleading eyes were on him and he had to fight back a groan._

_Why did she always do this to him?_

_Raina saw the defeat in his eyes and used this to her advantage. She stepped closer to him, "If you do this for me, I'll finish my paperwork on time for the rest of the week."_

_Despite the flirty tone of her voice, Hawkeye couldn't hold back a snort._

" _You wouldn't finish your paperwork on time if I held my gun to your head."_

" _It's part of an act." She reminded him, her face inching closer to his. In the soft light of the room, he could see every line in her face. She looked tired – but there was something else there too. It was an apology._

_He knew she didn't exactly like the persona she had been given. However, just as Grumman had told her when she had been transferred to Eastern Command, it was a necessary evil for climbing the ranks – especially at her age._

_Hawkeye knowing that it took a lot out of her to sacrifice her pride for the sake of their goals, chose to throw her a bone._

" _I know." He conceded, his hard features softening. There was a small smile on his face which he reserved only for her. It was a fond smile. "Although there are days…."_

" _Stop it!" She playfully swatted his shoulder. The air was less tense than before. However, something heavy still lingered between them. Though they usually knew what the other was going to do before they did it – so familiar were they – it was situations like these where they both proved to be unpredictable._

" _So will you help me?"_

_At the pleading look in her eyes, Hawkeye groaned._

" _Fine." He surrendered, slouching back in his chair in a very un-Hawkeye like fashion. This girl was going to be the death of him._

_She gave him an appreciative smile and he fought the urge to smile back – he didn't want her thinking that he enjoyed the position she had put him in. He was serious when he had told her that this needed to stop happening – they needed to be more careful. Their relationship needed to remain professional, if only for the sake of their goals. It had been what they had agreed upon when he offered to serve under her._

_It seemed as time went on though that Raina had begun to regret that decision, always pushing the boundaries to see just how far she could go. He should have known it would be harder for her to keep to the rules they had established – she was still young after all – but he knew in the long run it was what was best for the both of them._

_It didn't make it any easier to tell her no, though._

_He was broken from his thoughts by Raina planting herself firmly in his lap._

" _Hey!" He was embarrassed to hear his voice crack in surprise. Even with her usually flirty nature, this was bold action for her. He supposed it was from the last remnants of liquor running through her veins. Now, he couldn't decide if he preferred the depressive drunk Mustang or the flirty drunk Mustang._

_Both had him wanting to pull his hair out._

_The sniper couldn't help but stiffen as she wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him closer to her body. The dip of her collar had him fighting the urge to look down as her cleavage pressed flush against his chest. Noticing how tense he had become, the girl laughed._

" _You act as though we've never been this close before." She slyly whispered, her breath warm against his ear. Her implication had him tensing further. "Besides, I still need to tell you about the information I received tonight."_

" _I don't think this is the most professional fashion to do it in, sir." His teeth were clenched as he struggled against the desire to raise his hands to her hips. He could feel his palms sweating as he rested them against the legs of the chair. "Why don't you tell me the information first – from your own chair – and then I'll assist you with your cover story."_

" _This will be more efficient," She insisted, her lips close to his ear. He could hear the smile in her voice. "Aren't you usually the one getting on to me about efficiency?"_

_It still felt so wrong to him – to have these kind of feelings for a girl who had once been his father's student. It made him feel…lecherous? Although, on the surface, there was nothing inappropriate about it besides their ranks in the military. They were both adults now, separated by barely four years of age._

_But still…_

_His father had tasked him with protecting her and he imagined this is not what the man had meant. Despite the guilt that still lingered within him though, he could feel his resolve cracking as she hugged him tightly._

_Finally, he sighed in defeat. "What did he tell you?"_

_Raina perked up at his question, victory firmly in her grasp. She pulled back slightly to look him in the eyes, her own dark pair alight with excitement. "It was about General Arnold."_

_Much like Hakuro, General Arnold was one of Raina Mustang's biggest challengers. Rather than oppose her because of her age though, he chose to target her due to her gender._

_As the Colonel began to quietly (albeit excitedly) relay the information she had received about the scandal, he allowed himself to lean forward to nuzzle her neck. He could have laughed at the catch in her breath when his nose came in contact with her skin._

" _What?" He asked innocently – his hands now on her hips, drawing her closer to give him better access to her neck. At the low timbre of his voice, he could feel her skin flush against his lips as he grazed the area above her collar. "Isn't this what you asked me to do?"_

_She hummed in response, tilting her head to the side. "Yes, but you acted so against it that I half expected you to grab a straw and make it look like I had spent the night with the owner of the world's tiniest lips."_

_Hawkeye couldn't help but snort. "When I receive an order, I typically follow through."_

_Those words had her pulling back, her eyes immediately drifting to his._

" _I'm not giving you an order." Her voice was soft, vulnerable. There was regret in the way she gazed so earnestly at him. Just that look alone had him worrying that she was about to fall victim to a depressive episode. It was the look she usually gave him when they spoke about Flame Alchemy. "I'm asking you to help me as a friend – as a comrade. If you want to stop assisting me at any point, you have that choice. I have taken far too much from you already to ask for anything else."_

_Ray could feel his gaze soften. She had mentioned on more than one occasion that she felt guilty for keeping him from his dreams – the one's he had before she had stumbled into his life. They were dreams long forgotten, replaced by goals that were the result of his own sins. He didn't know when she had started counting his sins among her own – but she needed to stop._

" _You have never asked for something that I was not willing to give." He reminded her, hands tightening on her waist so bring her closer yet again. "My success depends on your's and – if you think this will keep Major Foster off your trail – then I will help in any way I can."_

_She gave him a soft smile in return._

" _Even if it means sucking your neck."_

_At the dry tone he used, she was laughing again._

_Hawkeye figured if he was going to follow her into hell, there were worst ways to go. Raina couldn't help but agree._

* * *

"Boss?"

Colonel Mustang was shaken from her thoughts by a meek Sergeant Fuery – who, despite having been on the team for a while now, still seemed to be fairly intimidated by her. _'It's nice to have at least one other person who shows respect around here besides Hawkeye,'_ The girl couldn't help but think as she turned her chair.

"Yes, Sergeant?"

"Uh…" The boy stuttered, looking down at the papers in his hands. She could see the sweat forming on his hairline. "Well, I just wanted to let you know that we received a receipt of charges on behalf of the Elric Brothers."

The room quieted immediately at the mention of the young boys.

"What?" Her tone was dark, chin coming up to rest on folded hands as she continued to stare Fuery down. The boy was practically quaking in his boots now.

"Well it seems there was some property damage…"

"Property damage?!"

The young man yelped as his commanding officer ripped the paper from his hands – her eyes immediately scanning over its contents. _You have got to be kidding!_

Only Edward Elric could cause over 10 million cens in property damage.

She could feel her eye begin to twitch. Havoc and Breda immediately turned their attentions back to the paperwork they had been ignoring for hours – lunch break forgotten. Falman was so engrossed in his book that he still had not looked up to see what was going on around him and poor Fuery seemed to be trying to make himself blend into the wall.

The only one left unmoved was First Lieutenant Hawkeye who simply released a sigh and put down his pen, knowing exactly what was coming next.

"Fullmetal!"

Yes, it was a typical day indeed.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There was no way he could be here. The last time she had spoken to him, he had not said a word about joining the military. She had always thought he had wanted to become an engineer or something of that nature. Surely, with his father's notorious distaste for the State Military, the young man would have never considered becoming a part of its ranks – right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Another chapter down! I thought it was finally time to introduce Maes Hughes. Most of the dialogue in this chapter has come straight from the manga, since I wanted to keep this AU as much in the realm of canon as possible. The only slight change that has been made is to the timeline. In this AU, Mustang joined the Military Academy in 1905 post-Master Hawkeye's death, while Maes Hughes graduated from the Military Academy in 1906 instead of 1905. Other than that, everything is pretty much the same from the original telling of this. Don't worry about the slight lack of Royai in this chapter, this was mostly used as an opportunity to build up some backstories. We will be returning to Ishval in other chapters, so you WILL get to see more of their time together during the war.
> 
> Please let me know what you think! Comments are always welcome!

**Ishval, East Area - Summer of 1908**

"Mustang!"

Over the dull ringing in her ears, the young Major could just make out the sound of someone calling her name. The voice sounded familiar, though she couldn't be sure. Under the burning sun of Ishval, hallucinations were prevalent – and she had had more than her fair share since arriving here.

However, when she glanced back at the group of soldiers huddled around the water trough, she sighed gratefully. Running towards her was a dark-haired man with glasses situated over his sharp, Amestrian features.

"Hughes!" She called from the wash station, her tired voice tinged with relief. Oh, how good it was to see a familiar face amongst this hell. Maes Hughes, as always, had impeccable timing. "So you're here too?"

The man, who was four years her senior, had to stop for a second to catch his breath. Under the heavy wool of their uniforms, any minor exertion of energy suddenly became a marathon of effort. Once his breathing had finally returned to normal – a bright grin broke out on his features. It didn't escape the young woman that the smile didn't reach anywhere near his eyes though.

"Hey it's been awhile Musta – ," Maes paused as the girl reached out to give him their customary fist bump. The overcoat she was wearing over her uniform slipped, giving way to the single star on her shoulder. This caught the man's attention immediately. "Oh! Now you're 'Major Mustang,' aren't you?!"

Raina could tell the words were meant to have a competitive edge, given the man's own lower status – however, she could hear a great amount of pride within them as well. His smile only grew bigger as their fists touched.

After taking her certification to become a State Alchemist, Raina had insisted on being given the opportunity to earn her keep by joining the Military Academy. Though she would be instantly given the title of Major due to the nature of her skills, she still wanted to pay her dues and learn what it was like to be a REAL soldier – one who wasn't just intended to be used as a human weapon. She wanted people to respect her and acknowledge that she had earned any rank she had received by merit rather than chance.

This was more of a challenge than she had expected given her age and gender. Though the State Military did not discriminate between male and female – that didn't mean the lonely cadets of the Academy didn't. She was 16 when she entered the Academy, the Fuhrer himself approving her enrollment and bypassing the normal age requirements, which caused tongues to wag throughout every branch of the military. Her male counterparts in class had ogled her, seeing her as nothing more than a nice thing to look at while they completed basic training.

Hughes had always seen her as the little sister he had never had. After their initial competitive streak in the Academy, the two of them had found that they were a backwards set of kindred spirits. Hughes with his endless optimism and unrivaled wit and Raina with her fiery determination and lofty goals. The pair had become quite the undefeatable duo during their time at the Academy.

Unfortunately, others didn't hold her in as of high regards as Hughes, despite her already promised title upon graduation. In fact, that only seemed to add more fuel to the fire.

During her time at the Academy, the men had constantly whispered about the young and beautiful Flame Alchemist. No matter how many times she tested at the top of her class or received amongst the highest marks in her physicals, her fellow cadets never seemed to take her as seriously as she would have liked. The only one who truly ever saw her as a threat was Hughes himself.

Hughes with all his enthusiasm and desire to be the best had seen the young Mustang for what she was – competition. Never had he focused on the fact that she was a girl, all he saw was a fellow soldier. Thus, began their competitive streak.

Over time, a bond had formed between the two. After having taken her leave of the Hawkeye residence, Raina had begun to miss the constant male presence she had grown used to when she was out east. Though Maes Hughes and Ray Hawkeye were about as different as night and day, it was the steady nature of the two that seemed to bring Raina such unmatched comfort.

While Hughes had graduated long before she had, the bond they shared was one she was never able to replicate in her remaining years at the Academy.

It figures that they would both end up in Ishval. Pretty much everyone was ending up in Ishval.

"To be more precise, it's a position equivalent to a Major," She removed her ignition gloves, waving them in front of him as a reminder. It wasn't like she had to put much effort into gaining her current rank. "Actually, I only have as much authority as a Captain."

While she dipped her hands into the cool water of the wash station, Hughes released a victorious whoop. "Ha, same as me then!"

"You became a Captain? When?" There was genuine curiosity in her tone. Hughes sure had climbed the ranks quickly, even without the help of alchemy. She splashed water in her face, letting it cool her heated skin.

"Just now!" He remarked brightly, handing her a towel. "Out here, people high and low keep dying. If you gain a little credit…"

Raina paused with towel in hand, glancing over at the man to see what had caused him to stop. It was the first time during their conversation that their eyes had met. Hughes looked uneasy.

"You…" The man had to clear his throat before continuing. "You've got a different look in your eyes."

Yes, she supposed she did.

Toweling off the dampness that still lingered on her skin, Raina threw the used towel into a waiting basket. She and Hughes walked off to the side, allowing the soldiers behind them to gain access to the basin. Despite hearing the disappointment in his tone, Raina found it impossible to look away in shame.

"You do, too." She met his gaze head on. "They're killer's eyes."

Hughes smirked, though there was no real humor behind the action. "Yeah."

With that they chose to distance themselves from the camp, knowing that their conversation was about to take a dangerous turn. One could almost say traitorous. If the look in their eyes was any indication, then it certainly didn't seem like either of them was terribly happy about what they had been called to do.

Once the voices of their fellow soldiers were but a mere hum in the distance behind them, they stopped walking. The endless Ishvalan desert went on for miles in front of them. Off in the distant sky, they glimpsed a large plum of smoke, signaling that another Ishvalan town was also under siege.

At the sight, Maes sighed heavily.

"It feels familiar, like it was just a while ago." The man gave another humorless laugh, turning to face his companion. Though his eyes shined with mirth, he couldn't hide the pain that lingered behind them. "Your eyes were sparkling at the Military Academy. We all sure talked about this country's future."

Raina remembered those days quite vividly. Despite her dour mood from earlier, she couldn't fight back the smirk that appeared on her features. "Yeah, we sure did."

Hughes hadn't been the only one she had shared her vision for the future with. It was one of the last things she had ever spoken to Master Hawkeye about. _Oh, how he would be disappointed in her now._ The exact worries he had for his flame alchemy had come to fruition and there was very little she could say to defend herself.

"How funny it is to think about that beautiful future now."

"Raina, you know this stuff wasn't a part of that beautiful future." Hughes rarely used her first name. He had always made sure to address her just as he would any other man in the field – to validate the respect he felt towards her. However, at the sight of her guilty countenance, he chose to throw that out the window. "This wasn't what any of us imagined."

They walked a few steps, passing by a gaggle of dead Ishvalans already covered in sand. Neither reacted to the sight.

"How's life here?" The Captain asked casually, stepping over some rubble as they made their way further from the camp. "I haven't seen you since I graduated."

They continued in that vein, discussing what they had seen since being called out to the field. It seemed much the same – gunfire and blasts. The only objective at this point was complete annihilation of the Ishvallan race, plain and simple. They knew of nothing else. Every morning was the same.

"Lieutenant! Lieutenant Hughes!" They paused their chat as a fresh-faced cadet ran to where they stood. The young man was puffing by the time he caught up to them. There was a letter in his hand.

"It's Captain," Hughes grumbled as he turned to receive the young cadet.

"Oh! Excuse me!" The soldier raised his hand to salute his superior, apology evident in his tone. "It's a letter!"

The man handed it over to him before taking his leave – catching wind that this was very much a private conversation. Hughes turned the envelope over in his hands to read who the sender was. The exclamation that escaped him had Raina jumping in surprise.

"Oh!"

"What is it?!" Raina asked, one hand clutching at her heart. You just couldn't scare soldiers like that. Hughes was unperturbed by her reaction, too busy rubbing the parchment against his cheek.

"It's MY beautiful future!" He held up the envelope for her to read. Raina had to squint to read the tiny cursive.

"Gracia? You've got yourself a woman?"

"She's in Central!" The man brought the envelope to his chest, raising one fist in an impassioned fashion. "She's been waiting for my return all this time."

Raina snorted at the display, hardly able to believe this man was the same one that was a killer on the battlefield.

Noticing her less than stellar response, Hughes smirked. There was a playful glint in his eyes. "What are you disappointed that I'm no longer on the market?"

Raina gave him a wry grin. "Not at all, I'm happy for you."

During their time at the Academy, their relationship had been brought to question many times by their fellow cadets. Since most of the boys spent their time shamelessly flirting with the young girl, they had a hard time imagining that any man would try and befriend her. To them, the entire friendship had to be a cover up for some kind of sordid affair.

But their accusations simply weren't valid. If anything, Hughes had become a surrogate big brother to her in the Academy. He was constantly helping shield her from unwanted advances, although he knew she could handle herself just fine. She had been offended for a while at his behavior, until she realized this was just a part of him. He was protective of those he loved.

By graduation, their supposed romantic relationship had become somewhat of a joke between the two of them.

Hughes gave her an appreciative smile – however, it soon slipped from its place, replaced by one of sheer anxiety. Under the hot, midday sun, Hughes went white as a sheet.

"It just occurred to me – what'll I do if some other guy is making a pass at her?!" Raina opened her mouth to calm him fears, but Hughes ignored her – continuing to mutter near incoherently. "No there's no way that Gracia would leave a great guy like me to have an affair."

"Hughes – "

"No no no!"

"Hughes, I don't think – "

"But there's still no way the guys around her would leave such a great woman alone!" The man grabbed his face in a dramatic fashion, his turmoil evident in the fearful expression on his face. Raina was not amused by the display.

"Hey!" The frustrated shout stopped the man's ranting. He turned to where his friend stood with an annoyed look. "Hughes, I'll give you one word of advice."

The Captain raised a single brow, curious as to what his companion had to say.

"It's a common pattern in movies and novels. Guys who talk happily of their families or lovers on the battlefield?" Hughes nodded, hanging on every word. That was until Raina made a pistol with her fingers and pretended to shoot. "Have a higher chance of dying."

"Not funny, Mustang."

"It's true! How can you talk about such things out here?" She pointed an accusatory finger to his chest, her expression hard. "How can you talk about that when you're out here killing?"

"What are you saying you don't have ANYTHING light hearted to talk about?" Hughes countered, hands on his hips.

As their squabble continued, both failed to noticed the sound of sand shuffling behind them. One of the Ishvalan men that they had passed, whom they had assumed to be dead, had risen from the rubble, knife in hand. He raised it high above their heads before either of them took notice of his presence.

Once Raina realized that a shadow was descending upon them, she turned to face the threat head on. Hughes had already pulled out one of his own blades, but the girl was completely defenseless with her gloves still stuck in her pocket.

Before the man could plunge the knife forward - a shot rang out.

Both soldiers stood in shock as their attacker crumpled to the ground – blood pouring heavily from a fatal wound to the head. The red liquid stained the sand at their feet, running under the thick rubber soles of their boots. Neither said a word as they silently stared at the scene in front of them.

Regaining her senses, Raina quickly pulled out her gloves, sliding them in place over her fingers. "A shot?"

The girl's eyes were scanning the area for any potential threat that could still exist, when Hughes reached out to put a comforting hand on her shoulder, blade already back in his pocket.

"It's okay." He assured her, his eyes glued on the sniper tower that lay in the distance. "We have a 'Hawk's Eye' on us out here."

Raina fought the urge to jolt at the name, her heart beating a million miles a minute. "Hawk…?"

 _There was no way he could be here._ The last time she had spoken to him, he had not said a word about joining the military. She had always thought he had wanted to become an engineer or something of that nature. Surely, with his father's notorious distaste for the State Military, the young man would have never considered becoming a part of its ranks – _right_?

Not noticing her distress, Hughes continued. "Yeah, it's a still nameless sniper. It's become quite a topic among us. He's still a cadet in the Military Academy, but at any rate, he's got a good arm. It seems they brought him all the way out here because of our dismal numbers."

His companion nodded in acknowledgement, though she could barely hear him over the roaring in her ears.

"To think they had to pull out a fresh recruit like that." Hughes shook his head in disbelief, a heavy sigh leaving his lips. "This must be the end."

Raina's eyes never left the tower, even as they began to walk back into camp.

_Could it really be…?_

* * *

As night fell over Ishval, the distant sound of explosions and gunfire lowered to a buzz. Soldiers milled about campfires, swapping stories over meagre rations while they passed around bottles of liquor. One would never know that most of the men, who were drunkenly singing bar songs off-key and swaying with their arms around each other, were cold-blooded killers.

Raina had stuck by Hughes' side for most of the day, catching up on events that had transpired since they had last saw the other. At this point – she knew Gracia's favorite flower, her favorite position, her blood type, and many other details about the woman that she would have rather remained a mystery. However, she had way too much on her mind to really be too frustrated with Hughes' seemingly endless prattle.

She was still distracted by her own thoughts when Hughes called out to a group of snipers huddled around the campfire.

"There he is!" Before the Major could say anything more, Hughes called out to a cloaked figure seated by the fire. "Hey! Thanks for before. You were the one that shot that, right?"

"Yes," A deep voice answered from beneath his hood.

Raina's blood ran cold.

The sniper stood to his full height, a single hand raising to remove his head covering. The moment his flaxen blonde hair was revealed, the young soldier knew exactly who their savior was.

Ray Hawkeye was in Ishval.

His familiar features were hard against the dancing light of the fire. The sharp cheekbones and pointed nose that she had become so well acquainted with both looked much the same as they had the last time she saw him. She supposed he did look older – it had been four years – but other than that, he was still the Ray Hawkeye that she had grown up with.

The only difference was his eyes. Those amber pools used to have a gentle quality to them. Now, they were hardened by war.

Now, they were the eyes of a killer.

"It's been awhile, Miss Mustang." His tone gave nothing away as his gaze fell on her. "No, perhaps I should call you 'Major Mustang' now."

Though to anyone else, his tone would have come off as highly professional, she knew him too well to fall for that. There was a hint of accusation in the way he said her new title. Even over the den of the still rowdy soldiers, she could hear the disappointment in the words he spoke.

Maes was confused by the interaction, letting out a sound of confusion. Both the soldier and the sniper chose to ignore him.

"Have you begun to remember?"

"How could I forget?" She swallowed hard, her voice shaking with immense guilt.

 _Of course,_ she remembered. She remembered nearly every conversation he had engaged her in for the two short years she had lived with him. She remembered every smile, every joke, every story shared between the two of them, that spoke of friendship rather than the strictly professional relationship that he had tried to build up with her – and she most definitely remembered what they had given each other the last time they were together.

Ray Hawkeye had given her flame alchemy, while she had given him hope.

' _Some hope,'_ She thought as they continued to stare at one another.

Hughes at some point had decided to remove himself from the situation, joining in on the drunken shenanigans taking place around the fire with pictures of Gracia held in his hands. Raina would have laughed at such a sight if she wasn't so flustered by the events of the day. Never would she have believed she would see him here.

With Hughes gone, the two drifted away from the camp. Learning her lesson from last time, Raina didn't dare remove her gloves. When they were safely hidden behind a half wall of bricks, Hawkeye set his sniper rifle down before turning to her.

Raina Mustang had seen Ray Hawkeye beaten down before. She could remember the hard looks he would give her when he walked out of his father's study after receiving a verbal lashing. His amber eyes would appear defensive, just daring her to say a word about what had transpired, but there would be sadness there as well.

The Hawkeye that stood in front of her was beaten down – but in a way, that she had never seen before. This wasn't just a young man who was considered a disappointment to his father, this was a young man that got thrown into a war when he didn't believe in what he was fighting for.

Raina could relate to this man, more than she had ever been able to relate to him before.

The silence stretched between them until Hawkeye's quiet voice finally broke it.

"I was afraid of my father."

The admission was so quiet, that Raina half believed she hadn't actually heard it. She supposed though, that this was nothing new. She knew that Ray and Master Hawkeye had never seen eye-to-eye. Though Ray would always gaze at her coldly when he left his father's study, it wasn't enough to erase the memories she had of the voices she had heard beyond those doors.

' _You're no good,'_ Berthold Hawkeye would say to his son from behind the wood, vitriol evident in his tone. _'You never took to alchemy, so I had to take on an apprentice just to ensure that my research does not die with me. The least you can do is help protect it. You act like it's such a burden to bear when really you are nothing more than the keeper of it.'_

Raina had never understood what they were fighting about until the day of Master Hawkeye's funeral. That was also the day she had come to understand where the bruises on Ray Hawkeye's skin had come from and why he always seemed to be plagued by dry eye.

She knew he was afraid of his father _, but god she never thought he would admit it_.

He took her silence as a signal to carry on. "I was afraid because the sight of him absorbed in his research was as if he was possessed by something."

Raina nodded. "I remember."

She knew exactly what the man meant. Master Hawkeye would sometimes go days without speaking – days without eating – all for the sake of his research. He was practically catatonic during those episodes of extreme hyper fixation, and there was very little either she or his son could do to shake him out of it. As he got closer and closer to death, the episodes got worse and more volatile. He would yell and scream if you tried to deter him from his research. It was like a little piece of humanity left him every time he made a new discovery, like some kind of twisted form of equivalent exchange.

"Yet," He continued, sighing deeply. His dark eyes turned to the stars as if searching for an answer. His face grew remorseful. "I still believed in my father's words that this great power would bring happiness to many people."

Raina could remember Master Hawkeye carrying on about how important his research would be in building a better future. Despite his violent behaviors, the man was genuine in his desire to see his work be used for good.

Hawkeye switched his gaze from the stars to his hands. The hands that now could kill with only the twitch of a finger. Rough and calloused, he now had sniper hands.

"I truly believed alchemy could be used for the good of the people and that the military would protect this country's future…" His eyes moved to meet her own dark set. The disappointment in his expression was evident. "Please tell me, Major. Why are soldiers, who ought to protect citizens, killing them instead? Why is alchemy, which ought to bring happiness to the people, being used for murder?"

His words were like a knife to her heart.

She knew why he was posing this question to her. There was no mistake about it. Just as she had remembered every conversation between them, he had taken note of them as well. He remembered what she had told him when she ran off to join the Military Academy – the hope she had instilled within him that led him to handing over the secrets to flame alchemy.

He remembered that hope, because It was the same hope that had thrown him straight into a war.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "My persona is a flirt." She whispered, lowly. With her hands wrapped around his neck, she dragged him down far enough so that she could breathe against the skin of his ear. She could feel her grin turn proud as she felt him shiver in response. "You make it more believable by leaving marks."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Don't worry, I didn't forget about these two lovely characters! It took me a long time to figure out which scene I wanted to tackle next and this one just seemed to keep on popping up in my head. Now, I warn you - it's kind of spicy. Now there isn't anything explicit, but it's certainly enough to get the blood pumping. I don't think it's enough to warrant an "M" rating, but if it makes you uncomfortable leaving it at "T", just let me know and I'll change the rating. Regardless, I hope you enjoy!
> 
> Thanks for reading! Comments and Kudos are appreciated!

**East City - Spring of 1909**

Ray Hawkeye wasn't sure how it had happened, but he found that the mechanics of it mattered very little. The truth of the matter still stands – in all its guilt-ridden glory.

He had taken his father's ex-apprentice to bed.

The words made his toes curl in a less than pleasurable way from the hour before, bile rising in his throat at the thought. _How could he have done this? How could he have turned his back on his promise to protect this girl against all harm that came at her? How could he be so stupid?_

The answer was plain and simple – alcohol.

The war had ended earlier in the month and both he and Raina had made their way to East City. Ray had returned to the Academy to finish his training for graduation in the summer – and Raina, after a brief stay with her foster mother in Central – had decided to put in a transfer out East. Though most saw it as a dead-end position, Raina insisted she had it on very good authority, that it was the right place to get her start. Ray didn't question that.

They hadn't spoken much since the end of the war. Ray was busy with his training and Raina was busy with the responsibilities that came along with her recent promotion. Upon her arrival back from Ishval, the young woman had been given the title of 'Lieutenant Colonel' – making her the youngest soldier in history to wear that rank. While anyone else would be proud of such an honor, Raina remained relatively quiet on the matter. She accepted, but there was no happiness behind it.

All Ray could see was determination.

He knew from speaking with Maes Hughes at the end of the war that Raina had all but committed herself to reaching the seat of Fuhrer. She saw it as the only option she had to repent for all the sins she had committed in Ishval.

Ray didn't exactly know what he was going to do, but he felt he would know once he was freed from the curse written into the skin of his back.

Raina had been fighting demons that night, causing her to call out to him in the most unexpected way possible. When his superior had told him he had a call from a young woman, he had hardly believed it, unable to imagine who would be bothering to call him at such a late hour. However, when he lifted the phone to his ear, he recognized the voice instantly.

 _"Ray?"_ She had asked, her words slurred against the sound of raucous laughter in the background. From the clank of glasses and drunken shouts, he deduced she was at a bar. " _Ray, are you there_?"

He hadn't heard his name from her lips in so long, having gotten use to her normal address of "Hawkeye" while they had fought alongside each other in the war. There was a vulnerability in her tone that had his heart clenching in fear, as though he somehow thought she couldn't handle herself in her current state.

" _Where are you?"_ He asked, not bothering to confirm his identity to her, knowing she would recognize his voice. The anxiety in his words were obvious as he pressed on. " _Do you need me to come get you?"_

There was a pause over the line. From her side, he could hear another round of laughter break out and the snap of a pool stick before she finally came back with an answer.

" _Yes."_

He had retrieved her from the bar, shocked at the sight that met him. She was a vision to be sure in a low cut, black sleeveless dress with a pair of heels that looked like they had been made to kill. However, it was the look in her eyes that made him pause. While she had certainly had the eyes of a killer for well over a year now, the pain he saw within those dark depths was new.

He imagined it had to have been from the alcohol.

They hadn't spoken as he walked her to the apartment she now resided in. The building was near Eastern Headquarters and just a few blocks down from the barracks where he was currently staying. He hadn't realized how close in proximity they were to each other and part of him was glad he hadn't. With the current state that they were both in, he doubted them hanging out together would do much good.

He had walked with her up the stairs and had even turned the key for her when they had made it to her door. He had intended to leave once he was sure she was safely in her room – however, it seemed the younger girl had other plans, tugging his hand and leading him into her apartment. Cautiously, he chose to follow.

Her home was nothing spectacular. From what he could see, her living area was sparse with a single green couch in its center and a fireplace against the far wall. There was an entry way that led to what must have been her kitchen and dining area with a hall on the opposite side. Certainly, these were not the plush quarters of a Lieutenant Colonel that he had been expecting. It was simple; it was minimal.

Raina had ditched her shoes at the door, rolling her shoulders in an attempt to release the tension that had settled into them. She still wobbled to the side as she made her way to the living room, but she wasn't nearly as inebriated as she had been when he first retrieved her from the bar.

Ray didn't bother removing his coat, resolute in his decision to only stay for a few minutes to make sure that she was alright.

" _Want a drink?"_ She had asked casually, swaying her hips as she walked towards the kitchen. Her long black hair fell down her back in an intoxicating fashion – so intoxicating that Ray felt himself swallowing harshly.

This was a bad idea.

Despite every warning whistle that was going off in his head, telling him that he was playing a dangerous game, the man for whatever reason answered in the affirmative.

" _Yes."_ The words made a smile appear on her features, though it didn't touch her eyes. Ray could still see the pain from earlier swirling in those dark depths. " _But only one."_

The one drink had eventually led to two, which then became three, and things slowly escalated from there.

They spoke of what they had been doing since they last saw each other. Ray shared with her the topics of his last several trainings while she spoke in return of the work she had been doing in Eastern Headquarters. At nineteen-years-old, the older soldiers respected her very little, seeing her as nothing but a flirty upstart – however, she had become quite good friends with the old General Grumman who was at the head of the region.

They both avoided the topic that they had been mulling over for the past several weeks, neither forgetting the promise they had made upon their departure from Ishval.

After throwing back his third drink, Ray reveled in the relief the alcohol provided. He had been burying himself in his studies to avoid the pain of his memories of war, but it seemed to him that Raina had been conquering them in a different fashion. She had certainly developed a tendency to drink in Ishval, something told him though that it had only gotten worse since her arrival home.

It was after this last drink that he noticed a change in Raina.

She had shared one drink with him, but was nowhere near as intoxicated anymore. He figured that after how much she had drunk in the past year, her tolerance was probably even better than his. He had a buzz at the moment but was still completely aware of his actions. Surely, he could still make rational judgements in this state.

That was until he felt a warm pair of lips on his own.

To say he was shocked would be an understatement. It was if the world had stopped and all had ceased to exist at the touch of her lips. It took him a moment to realize what was happening and that the whooshing sound that was plaguing his ears was actually the sound of his erratic heart.

Before he could respond, Raina had pulled back, her dark eyes peering into his own and waiting for a reaction. He imagined the shock he was feeling translated on to his features. There was a warmth to his cheeks that hadn't been there before and he tried to convince himself it was from the drinks.

Raina raised a brow, still waiting for a response.

" _No."_

His words had been sharp, despite the alcohol and despite his shock. He knew what her eyes were beseeching, though he had very little experience in that department, but he simply couldn't give into such desires. This was the girl he had vowed to protect and taking advantage of her in such a position, certainly wouldn't help him with that.

Raina pouted at his refusal. " _Why not?"_

" _Because you're not thinking straight."_ He had answered, glued to his seat. His mind was telling him to run, to return to the Academy and to wait a few weeks for all of this to blow over before meeting with her again – however, his body was saying differently. Just from one touch of her lips, it was though he had fallen under a spell.

It made him _uncomfortable_. It made him feel _out-of-control_. It made him feel _dirty_.

" _I'm thinking perfectly fine, thank you. I'm not as drunk as you think I am_." She had answered, scooting closer to him on the couch. Her bare thigh was touching his own, her warmth seeping through the material of his sweatpants. " _And I know you're not drunk, either. I think we are both perfectly able to make decisions for ourselves right now."_

_"Well I'm making the decision to say 'no'."_

The words had not been the ones she wanted to hear.

" _Why?"_ She asked, venom laced in her tone. " _Because you still see me as that child who showed up on your doorstep? Because you still see me as a girl rather than a woman?"_

" _That's not it, Miss Mustang."_

 _"Yes, it is!"_ She exclaimed, jumping from the couch to stand in front of him. She stood with hands on her hips, her black eyes piercing into his own _. "If it wasn't about that, you wouldn't have just called me 'Miss Mustang'. I haven't been 'Miss Mustang' in years!"_

It had been a slip of the tongue, but Ray knew better than to take it back. Maybe if he let her rage long enough, she would fall into a drunken sleep and this would all be forgotten.

" _You know what the major difference between 'Miss Mustang' and I is_?" She didn't give him an opportunity to answer, instead poking a shaking finger into his chest. " _That girl had never killed anyone and never thought she would have to. That girl had never taken advantage of her friend's trust and used the power he gave her to murder."_

Ray could tell that her anger stemmed less from his response and more towards her own actions. Behind such furious words, guilt was evident in the wavering of her tone.

Ashamed, Raina turned from him. Though the fireplace was unlit, she stared into it, as if it would give her an answer to her problems. In a show of vulnerability, she wrapped her arms around her chest, hands pressing down on her shoulders.

The sight nearly broke the young Hawkeye's heart.

Silence drifted between them, the only sound coming from outside in the hall, as a band of friends walked drunkenly past her unit. The tension in the room was thick, so thick that Ray felt even a knife couldn't slice through it. There was a charge in the air and he hated to admit what that electricity was stemming from.

Surprising even himself, Ray stood from his position on the couch. He walked without thinking towards his old housemate and turned her around to face him. Once he saw the tears streaming down her face, he knew he was a goner.

He pulled her into a tight hug, one hand drifting to the back of her head. After her initial shock had worn off, Raina responded by wrapping her arms around him, her hands meeting over the expanse of his broad back.

They both tried not to think of the ink that his shirt was hiding underneath her touch.

" _Why?"_ He was finally able to whisper, his breath rustling the hair that laid over her left ear. The sensation sent a shiver down the young girl's spine. " _Why did you ask me to come get you? Why did you ask me to come over?"_

Burying her face into his jacket, she tried to hide the blush that warmed the surface of her features. " _I wanted to feel something besides shame. I wanted to feel something besides guilt."_

Ray pulled away from her, holding her at arm's length. While they had been tentative friends during her stay his home, there hadn’t been many times where he could remember being so close to her. Even when she had studied the plane of his back, they had always been careful to remain at a reasonable distance.

But now, in the dim light of her living room, both broken from their experiences during the war, it seemed that every wall that they had ever built between them came crashing down.

Ray just had one question. Well, he actually had a million – but there was only one that was burning in the back of his mind.

" _Why me?"_ He asked her quietly, his eyes never straying from her own. " _Why would you chose me over some random guy you could have found at the bar?"_

The question didn't surprise her – however, it did have her face heating up once more. When she answered though, the words came out simply, as though they were a truth he should have known all along.

" _Because I trust you."_

There was no hesitation in her voice, just a quiet acceptance.

The trust she put in him was surprising, especially after he had spent so long questioning his trust in her. After she had taken the secrets of his father's alchemy and had committed such heinous acts, he really began to question whether she was the girl he thought she was.

It turned out though, that he had a monster living inside him as well.

He couldn't fault her for falling into the military propaganda in Ishval when he had done exactly the same. She wasn't the only one with blood on her hands – in fact, he had killed so many in Ishval that he was being given the 'honor' of graduating and gaining an instant promotion to second lieutenant upon his entrance into the State Military.

He was just as guilty as her as far as he was concerned. They had both committed war crimes and both deserved to be punished somewhere down the road.

For now, he couldn't deny that he too had been seeking some kind of validation for being alive other than the constant pain and guilt he felt. He had begun to wonder whether he had died back on the battlefield and his body now continued on in an endless loop of time. It was so hard to get a grasp of reality when all you seemed to do was live in the past.

It was that kind of thinking that got him moving.

After little hesitation, Ray leaned forward to place a soft kiss on the plump surface of his companion's lips. He could feel her surprise, even with his eyes tightly closed – however, she soon responded, her arms coming up from around his waist, to wrap around his neck.

He kissed her gently several times, allowing all the affection he felt for her to pour into his actions. Though he could feel Raina's own eagerness, she responded to the ministrations in kind, letting her fingers play with the ends of the dirty blonde hair that rested against the skin of his neck.

" _I don't want to take advantage of you."_ Ray murmured against her lips, pulling back momentarily to catch his breath. Raina was breathing heavily as he leaned his forehead against her's. _"I don't ever want to hurt you."_

His honest words had a smile appearing on her lips, this one finally reaching her eyes as she unwrapped one of her hands from his neck and placed it on his cheek. Their eyes met and in that moment, Ray knew he was gone.

" _This is what I want."_

Her words weren't slurred and her actions were as sober as they could be after the one drink she had partaken in earlier that hour. This confirmation was all his body needed to jump into action, even with his brain still telling him to stop.

The truth was…he wanted this, too.

His lips descended on her's once more, gently pressing against the smile on her mouth. They stood there for a few moments, reveling in the gentle kiss, arms wrapped around the other before progressing any further.

Just as she usually did, Raina commanded the situation. While keeping the kiss soft, she sighed in invitation, allowing him access to the contours of her mouth. He hesitated for a moment, struck by her boldness, before tentatively sticking his tongue through the slit of her lips. The girl moaned in approval, her own tongue reaching out to dance with his.

As the kiss became more heated, Raina found herself pressing closer to Ray's chest. The hand at the back of his head now tugged roughly at his hair, causing him to grunt in pain, though he didn't break away from her lips. The sound itself sent a shiver down her spine and had an unknown heat pooling at the bottom of her belly.

They were all feverish limbs as they made their way to the single bedroom in the apartment. Neither bothered to turn on the lights, the moonlight pouring through the window enough to guide their hasty actions.

Though their movements were heated, Ray laid Raina down on the comforter with a gentleness that spoke of years of hidden affection. She could see the emotions behind his eyes as he hovered over her, his lips swollen from the kisses they had shared earlier. His expression was so soft, it had her eyes closing in shame.

She truly didn't deserve such a gaze.

Tilting her head back, she led him right where she wanted him. In the lonely nights she had spent in Ishval, she had always imagined what it would be like to have his lips on her neck. Now, she was determined to find out.

" _I don't want to leave marks_." He wheezed, his breathing heavy from restrained desire. She could tell he was making an effort to go slow for her, unsure of her reaction to the experience.

The woman simply smiled in response.

" _My persona is a flirt."_ She whispered, lowly. With her hands wrapped around his neck, she dragged him down far enough so that she could breathe against the skin of his ear. She could feel her grin turn proud as she felt him shiver in response. " _You make it more believable by leaving marks."_

The alcohol still coursing through his veins took that as a good enough reason to proceed.

At the first touch of his lips against the tender flesh of her neck, Raina closed her eyes in bliss. He started by leaving small, wet kisses against the skin, before following them up with a puff of air that had her toes curling over the edge of the bed. She couldn't hold back the breathy sigh that left her lips once he paused to suck at the particularly sensitive flesh over her pulse point.

Though she expected the act to be rough, he sucked gently, still pouring every ounce of affection he had for her into every heated movement.

After pulling a bit too roughly with his teeth, Raina let out a moan, which had the man lapping at the faint marks he had left behind on the pale surface of her neck. The bite had been gentle, Ray still fearful to try anything too extreme, not knowing the girl's preferences when it came to bedroom activities, but Raina didn't seem to mind. In fact, she pulled his face closer to her neck, her quickened breath practically _begging_ him to continue.

He continued these ministrations for a few minutes, remaining careful in his actions, until Raina had decided she had enough of following his lead. He couldn't remember how, but at some point, she had rolled him over and on to his back, her legs straddled on either side of him, and her own lips attacking his neck.

Ray hissed at the pressure he now had on his lap, trying hard not to give in to the animalistic urges that threatened to make their way to the surface. His breathing became harder as she began to unbutton his shirt, her kisses drifting down the planes of his abdomen and causing the muscles to contract.

Maybe he had been right all along. Maybe he had died in Ishval and somehow found his way to heaven.

In a whirl of limbs and scattered clothes, the two found themselves bared to each other, the moonlight the only other witness to their act of desperation. They had both said they wanted to feel something and now they were getting the opportunity to provide that validation to the other.

Ray was gentle as he pushed forward, but became concerned as he saw the pain etched on his childhood friend's features. After a few minutes, though, she seemed to find herself lost in their closeness and thoroughly enjoying the act of making love to one another. Finally, she wasn't only feeling grief and guilt, she was feeling pleasure.

As they both came undone, their teeth clenched in an attempt to keep quiet in case Raina's neighbors were listening in, their sweat slicked bodies automatically clinged to the other.

Just like magnets.

Although he enjoyed the actions in the moment, it wasn't until after it was all said and done, that the guilt finally replaced the heat at the bottom of his stomach. With Raina curled against his chest, he couldn't help but hate himself at reveling in such actions.

_He had tainted her once again._

It wasn't enough that he had given her a powerful alchemy at too young of an age, but now he had also taken the last ounce of innocence she had if the blood on the bedsheets was any indication.

In the aftermath, Ray found that his breathing still would not slow. Though Raina was relaxed in his grasp, a peaceful expression alight on her features underneath the sweat soaked bangs of her forehead, such peace would not find him in this situation.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

The room had been silent for several minutes, the only sound being that of their gentle breathing. Raina looked up at him, her dark, tired eyes staring curiously into his.

"What are you talking about?" Her voice was deep, the remnants of passion still lingering in her tone as she reached a hand up to lay on his cheek. "What did I not tell you?"

"That I was your first."

The words caused a blush to develop on the girl's exotic features, bringing forth more bashful a reaction than the act they had been partaking in just minutes before. "I thought you knew."

Her words were honest, so Ray had no reason to suspect deception. Sighing, his breath fanning over the bare skin of her shoulder and causing her to shuffle closer, Ray fought the urge to dig his nails into her side in frustration with himself.

Of course, he should have known.

Despite Raina's bold personality and naturally flirty nature, he had never seen her come close to a man in any intimate fashion. The only man she seemed to spend any amount of time with alone had been Hughes and everyone knew that Hughes' heart belonged to another. With how young she was when she joined the military, he guessed he should have assumed that she was not as experienced between the sheets as she appeared.

However, with the way the recruits that he bunked with at the Academy acted, he had suspected that her experience during training was similar. He figured with her extroverted nature and rather alluring features, she had had no trouble at all finding men to keep her company during her time at basic training.

He guessed he was being a bit of a hypocrite.

"You were my first, too."

The words were so quiet that, for a moment, Raina wasn't even sure she had heard him. In the pale moonlight, she searched his features, looking for any sign of jest. She saw none.

"Really?" She couldn't hide the surprise in her voice, her arm finding its way to his chest so that she could rest her chin against the back of her hand. "I would have thought you would have gotten plenty of experience in the Academy."

The man gave her a wry grin; his thoughts having been the same in regards to her. "I guess we were both wrong in our assumptions then."

Raina smiled in return, her cheek resting against the skin of her hand. The look she gave him was so affectionate that it sent his heart into another round of palpitations. His guilt still weighed heavily on his mind though.

"I hate that you wasted your first time on a lecherous man like me."

Raina's brows furrowed at the term. "Lecherous? You're four years my senior – that's practically nothing when you consider we're both adults."

Ray knew he was being ridiculous pulling the age card – however, it still didn't sit right with him. "I just hate that I took your last piece of innocence from you."

Raina huffed, sitting up so that her face was level with his. Ever the bold one, the young woman didn't even attempt to hide the sight of her unbound chest from him. Ray fought to keep his eyes locked on her's, refusing to gaze upon her in a disrespectful manner after what she had given to him.

"Ray Hawkeye," The young woman poked her hand to his chest, the accusation clear in her tone. "I chose to give this part of myself to you. You took nothing that I wasn't willing to give. If anyone should feel guilty, it should be me. I had no idea that I was taking the same thing from you."

Ray wouldn't have her feeling any remorse on his part. "Don't be ridiculous. I wouldn't have given this to you unless I wanted to. Even though I feel guilty over the whole thing, I don't feel regret for anything I've given you."

"Not even Flame Alchemy?"

_Well…_

"No," He finally answered. He gazed up into Raina's deep black eyes, his words brooking no room for argument. "You are the only person in the world that I trust enough to share that with and I know you will repent for what was done in Ishval. Once you burn my back, we will no longer have to worry about the evil that Flame Alchemy can cause."

Raina grimaced at the mention of their promise. She sunk back to his chest, her chin resting on her hand once more. Unlike before, her eyes averted from his gaze.

"You promised," He reminded her, bringing a hand up to brush a few errant strands of dark hair away from her forehead. Her eyes still wouldn't meet his. "Once I've graduated, I want you to hold up your end of the deal. I want you to set me free from my burden."

"You'll hate me," Raina muttered quietly, staring at the crisp white sheets wedged between their bodies. "I'm glad I had this moment with you, because I doubt you'll ever be able to look at me the same again."

"That's not true," Ray assured her, pulling her in closer. His actions caused her to glance up, her eyes finally meeting his own. "I could never hate you. I tried – oh, trust me, I tried. When I found out what you were doing in Ishval, I wanted to hate you – but I couldn't. It turns out, you're just as human as the rest of us."

This did little to help quell her fears. All she could think of is the smell of burning flesh and the fear that would grip her heart knowing that it was _his_. They still had a few weeks before he graduated and Raina hoped it was time enough to get him to change his mind.

"This can't happen again."

His words brought her back from her thoughts, fear gripping her heart for another reason entirely.

"What do you mean?" She heard herself ask, but it was almost as if she was listening in on a conversation from far away. Though she knew what he was going to say, it didn't help her increasing heart rate or the nervous sweat that broke out over her skin.

"We can't have an intimate relationship with each other," Ray clarified, back to his usual blunt way of wording things. "Once I've graduated, this will become fraternization. If you plan on one day becoming Fuhrer, the last thing you need is a court martial on your record."

"So you have decided to stay in the military?" Raina asked, knowing that before they had left Ishval, Ray had begun to question his path in life. She knew he had always wanted to become an engineer and she found herself secretly hoping that he would still pursue that career at some point in the future.

"Not yet." Ray admitted, his eyes narrowing pensively as he stared at the ceiling. "But you're not the only one who needs to repent, so I think I will likely follow in your footsteps."

"Just as you did before."

Ray smiled, though it held no humor. "Yes, just as I did before."

"You know," Raina's brows rose, her hand guiding his chin so that he was once more looking at her. "That didn't work out so well the first time."

"It didn't." He admitted, placing his hand over her's where it lay on his cheek. "But I have a promise to live up to as well."

Raina couldn't help but think that one day these promises were going to be the death of them.

"Hm, we'll see."


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With her distorted vision, she was able to make out the form of Master Hawkeye standing from his chair. The creak of the floorboards beneath him signaled that he was getting closer. Even as tired as she was, she could feel her heart rate pick up at his proximity.
> 
> This was not good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I'm so sorry for the late update everyone. I'm Marketing Director for a company that has two separate locations and the coronavirus has been testing us recently. I'm about to start writing more oneshots that take place within the fma canon - however, there were some aspects of the story I want to build up first.
> 
> Please let me know what you think and if you're still reading! It's always nice to see how many of you are actually enjoying this fanfic!

**Augenblick, East Area – Fall of 1903**

As the leaves and fields turned golden, Raina settled into country life alongside her teacher and his son. The life she led in Augenblick was far different from the one she led in Central – however, her natural determination and hunger for knowledge was enough to have her adapting to the ways that had once seemed somewhat beneath her.

Master Hawkeye ran a tight operation on his "estate" – despite the fact, that it only housed three occupants.

Breakfast was had at six sharp and anyone who did not show up to the table within the given timeframe would end up having to go hungry until lunch. Raina's lessons would start at seven with Master Hawkeye typically giving her literature to read over while he prattled on with his own work. The two rarely spoke in the early hours of the morning.

From the little snippets, she had gotten from him in regards to his research, she knew he was attempting to create a new subset of alchemy. According to him, this alchemy would be used to help a great number of people and would be the most powerful alchemy of all. Beyond that, he would tell her nothing. Sometimes she wondered if he was truthfully creating anything at all. He seemed much too detached from reality to be able to focus on something for so long and so hard.

He had his moments of clarity, though.

Raina would be reading the literature she had been provided with, when suddenly the man would turn in his chair and fix her with his beady stare. His stringy, blonde hair paired with his beaklike nose bore a striking resemblance to his namesake. Once his eyes were fixed on her, she knew what time it was.

His quizzing was often brutal. He asked her the most obscure questions that could be drawn from the text. Until she produced the exact answer he desired, he would force her to reread the paragraphs again, refusing to let her lessons continue any further until he was satisfied. Most days, Raina found herself staring at two pages for the majority of her waking hours, trying her hardest to memorize what was written to produce the most optimal answer. It was exhausting.

Even when lunch would roll around, Master Hawkeye would not allow her to break. His son would bring their meals to the study – Master's usually going relatively untouched as he continued on with his own tasks – and force her to eat and study while remaining in his presence. By this point, the young girl's dark eyes would be starting to droop – however, she refused to fold. She was going to show him that she was a worthy apprentice for him to pass on his research to.

The afternoon was spent in a style much like the morning. While Master Hawkeye would work on his own, only pausing to quiz her, Raina would continue her own independent reading. The only difference in the afternoons was that she was finally allowed to start working with transmutation circles. This was her favorite time of the day since she got to apply the knowledge she was studying to actual, physical alchemy. While Master Hawkeye never smiled and hardly ever gave her a word of encouragement, she could tell that he was relatively impressed by the ease in which she applied the knowledge.

The only strange break in her day that seemed to occur like clockwork was around three in the afternoon. Master Hawkeye would turn in his chair and give her a look, one that clearly asked her to remove herself from his presence. At this time, she would pick up her books and vacate the room completely, taking her notes with her.

Much like his father, Raina discovered that Ray Hawkeye operated on a similar schedule every day as well. What he did while she was in his father's study, she could never be sure – however, she had a feeling he tended to the gardens that lay in the back of the property if his sweaty appearance was any indication of what he had been doing. Raina found this action strange, since the front gardens looked so abysmal, but once when she had gotten the courage to ask why the back gardens had been so well maintained, the man had frozen up and hadn't spoken to her for the rest of the night afterwards.

Such a response wasn't completely unusual, though. Raina had found that it was difficult to hold much of a conversation with the very stoic, very guarded young Mr. Hawkeye. She had tried to be his friend, but it was becoming more and more clear that he was not too interested in striking up a friendship with a slip of a fourteen-year-old girl.

The only time he bothered to pay any attention to her, beyond mealtime, was when he allowed her to accompany him on his hunting trips. They very rarely spoke – however, he didn't act like her presence was much of a nuisance and she truly enjoyed the opportunity to escape the house, even if it was just for a moment.

Master Hawkeye's dismissal would only last for about two hours, before he would be calling her back in again. Usually, upon her entrance, he would immediately produce a piece of paper and ask for her to regurgitate word-for-word a certain paragraph from the book, just to be sure she had actually done the reading he had asked her to do during her "break". Much like when she was verbally quizzed, she would be asked to study further if her answers didn't match what the text said.

She would continue this way until dinnertime, when she would finally be excused for good from the room and would go to join the younger Hawkeye in the kitchen. Her mentor would never follow her, preferring to take his meal in his study where he could continue his work.

After a quiet dinner with her teacher's son, she would typically go to her room to study the passages Master Hawkeye had given her for overnight work. She tried to ignore the unsettling feeling that would nestle its way in her belly as she watched Ray enter his father's study with a plate in hand, the steely look in his eyes evidence of both fear and resignation. Even when she stayed up half the night, she could hardly ever remember the door closing to signal him exiting the study. What went on in there after she had retired for the night, she would probably never know, and in the end, it wasn't really her business anyway.

That didn't keep her heart from racing though every time she watched it happen.

Tonight, however, seemed to be playing out a bit differently.

She had finished her dinner when Master Hawkeye had called her back into his study, something that only happened on a rare occasion. Usually it was to assign her more work or to change the topic of the next day's lesson – but he surprised her by gesturing for her to close the door and sit on the couch behind him.

She was hesitant, but chose to listen to her teacher.

Once she was seated, the man allowed the silence to fill the room for an uncomfortable set of minutes. The only sound produced between the two was that of the fire crackling in the small study's hearth. Raina busied herself by straightening out her simple brown skirt, the nervous sweat that had broken out across her hands, sinking gratefully into the fabric.

This was unusual behavior even for the very eccentric Master Hawkeye.

"Would you like a drink, Miss Mustang?"

Those words were amongst the last she thought she would hear when she had been brought into his office. It was enough to make her pause for a moment, shock written across her features.

She knew that Master Hawkeye was a terrible drunk. Even throughout the day, he would sit at his desk and nurse a glass of whiskey. There were some days when he wouldn't even bother with a glass at all, preferring to drink straight from the bottle. The man seemed to have an endless supply of alcohol stocked up.

Growing up in a bar, this wasn't unusual behavior for her to behold. Raina had seen more than her fair share of drunken men in her time with Madam Christmas. The only thing that concerned her about Master Hawkeye's obsession with drink was the possibility of hidden violent tendencies. She had seen the bruises on her housemate and it wasn't terribly hard to figure out where they had come from.

These thoughts were enough to keep her hesitant in partaking in her own mentor's seemingly favorite pastime. Master Hawkeye though, did not seem ready to take no for an answer.

"Well?" The man asked, his hand shaking as he held up a half full glass towards her as an offering. His expression was hard to read – much like it always was – but she could see the curiosity buried beneath his nonchalant façade. He was testing her.

Raina was not one to back down from a challenge – ever. When she was sent to study under the older Hawkeye, she had promised herself that by the time she had finished her studies, the man would see her as a lady and a worthy successor. There was no worse insult that you could give her than to refer to her as a "child." It seemed her teacher had picked up on that.

Careful to keep her expression blank, Raina reached out for the glass. Somehow, she was able to keep her hand from shaking as she accepted it. Master Hawkeye did not seem surprised by her actions – almost as though he had known she would take the bait. It was moments like these when she remembered just how intelligent the seemingly detached older man was.

The two sat in silence as they sipped the fiery liquid. Raina fought to keep a choke back as the warm alcohol coated her throat and burned her esophagus. Certainly, she had snuck some sips here and there when in the company of her sisters, but nothing they gave her was quite as strong as the drink Master Hawkeye seemed to favor.

The man finished his glass before slamming it back on his desk, causing his inkwell and pen to jump. It took every ounce of strength she had in her for Raina to keep from jumping herself.

"So…." Master Hawkeye began in that low, gravelly tone of his. Dark, beady eyes watched her carefully as he phrased his next question. "How have you enjoyed your studies?"

Raina was surprised by his casual demeanor. He never spoke to her so conversationally. In fact, she was pretty sure that beyond her initial introduction to the man, she hadn't spoken more than ten words to him about anything other than the things she was learning.

In her shock, she gulped her drink down hurriedly, trying to put off answering his rather out-of-the-blue question. She had been studying under him for near 4 months now, so why was he asking her this all of a sudden?

Noticing her drink was empty, Master Hawkeye gestured for her to hold her drink out so he could refill it. With a slight buzz already coursing through her veins, the girl accepted.

She took a careful sip before finally answering his question.

"I came here to learn, sir." She formed the words slowly, trying to keep the man from sensing any hesitancy in her statement. She cleared her throat before continuing "I have learned quite a bit so far and feel like I have made some progress in my alchemical studies."

Master Hawkeye raised a blonde brow at her words. "So, you have been satisfied with my teaching?"

"Yes, sir." Raina answered, thoroughly confused by his inquiry. She tried to think back to what she could have done earlier that day that would have led to such a conversation, but her mind was drawing a blank. She took another sip of whiskey, allowing the liquid to burn her throat. "I hope I have given you no indication of being dissatisfied with it, Master Hawkeye."

The man sat back in his chair, taking a long drag from his own glass.

"No, not at all." He answered truthfully, his eyes moving from her to follow the movements of the contents that lay in the glass in his hand. He twirled the cup around and watched as the golden liquid sloshed against its sides. His gaze was pensive, narrowed as he took in the sight. "I was just curious."

Raina took another drink from her own glass, fighting back the urge to ask what had brought on such a wave of curiosity. Master Hawkeye was certainly eccentric in his own way and she had learned early on that it was better not to question his actions – especially if the bruises on his son's body were any indication.

Another wave of silence settled over the room as the fire crackled on. From beyond the lone glass window of the study, Raina could hear the call of an owl deep in the forest as the moon rose higher in the sky. She was usually finishing up her studying by now and readying herself for bed. At this rate, she wasn't going to be able to wake up in time to start her studies in the morning.

However, she knew not to rush her teacher. If he wanted her presence there, she was going to stay. She also wanted to figure out what his look earlier had meant – the one that was so full of a challenge as though he were trying to size her up. Surely, there had to be something more to that.

Just like the good competitor she was – Raina continued to drink, matching her mentor's own intake. Rather than cautioning her and reminding her of her age, Master Hawkeye continued to fill her glass, watching as she tossed the contents back.

It wasn't until she was halfway through her fourth glass that he finally asked the question she was assuming he had been wanting to ask.

"How did your aunt find out about me?"

Raina paused at the question, setting her glass down on the small table that lay near the hearth. By this time, her buzz had turned into a full-on drunken stupor and she could tell her mind was running a bit slower than usual. That didn't stop her from answering his question, though.

"I read your work." Even to her own ears, she could tell the words were slurred. By this time, it was a struggle to even keep her eyes focused on the man that sat in front of her, especially in the swaying light coming from the flames that danced in the fireplace. "My aunt had a contact who suggested you to her."

"What kind of contact?" He pried further, taking a sip of his drink.

"A military man."

Through the haze of the alcohol, she could see her teacher's features darken with those words. She should have known that would anger him. He _hated_ the military.

"What was his name?"

"I have no idea." Even with a slur, her words were honest. By now, she was slumped somewhat lazily on the arm of the couch – a position she would have never allowed her teacher to see her in had she been in her right mind. She couldn't help it though; her limbs were so heavy and even the act of talking was becoming exhausting. "She didn't tell me."

Though her teacher could see she wasn't lying, it didn't stop displeasure from leaking into his tone.

"Military men are good for nothing slobs. All they have the desire to do is climb the ranks until they can't anymore – and for what reason? To bed a few more girls and conquer a couple more quadrants? It's disgusting." The man took one last drink from his glass before slamming it down on the table in his frustration. This time, Raina _did_ jump.

If she had been sober, the young girl would have probably found herself offended at an older man speaking of such vulgar things in front of her, but as it was, she was too far gone to care. However, his words did spark her own curiosity.

"But State Alchemists – "

" – are also good for nothings who sold their souls to the State." The man's tone brook no room for argument. His hands shook with anger as he gripped the arms of his chair. "The only difference between them and soldiers is that they have the ability to kill more and faster when used in war."

"That's not all they – " Raina tried to reason, but Master Hawkeye's dark eyes had her clamping her mouth shut. She was in no state to argue anyways.

"They are dogs of the military, Miss Mustang." Master Hawkeye's tone was lethal. Just the sound of it had the hairs on the young girl's arms standing on end. "That's all they will ever be and all that they will ever be good for."

She would have responded, but she found that she couldn't. In the past few minutes, the spinning of the room had grown to an unbearable point. She was having trouble even holding her head up.

In fact, she was pretty sure her cheek was pressing firmly against the arm of the couch now. She couldn't remember ever slouching down far enough to end up in a half laid out position. At least her feet were still planted on the ground, keeping her skirt from lifting up to her knees.

 _Or at least she thought they were?_ She was having a bit of trouble figuring out which of her limbs were doing what since they felt so damn heavy.

While her vision had simply been haze-y before, it was now blurred to an uncomfortable level. Even the dim light in the room coming from the fireplace and single lamp were causing her discomfort. Everything was too bright.

She should have known better than to drink so much _. How much had she had? Three? Maybe four drinks? Or was it five?_

She truly couldn't remember.

With her distorted vision, she was able to make out the form of Master Hawkeye standing from his chair. The creak of the floorboards beneath him signaled that he was getting closer. Even as tired as she was, she could feel her heart rate pick up at his proximity.

This was _not_ good.

Before he could make it to the couch where she sat, Raina heard through the whooshing in her ears, the sound of the door being swung open with unimaginable force. If she hadn't been so tired, she might have even jumped at the sudden noise.

"That's enough, father."

Raina recognized the voice of young . While the roaring in her ears was loud, she could tell even with the alcohol coursing through her veins that his words were said in a tone that was trembling with anger.

She had never seen him act so stern with his father before. Most of the time he acted rather fearful of the man. He must have been pretty mad to speak to him in such a way, especially in front of her.

With blurred vision, she watched as the younger man entered the room, stepping between the couch and his father. From her position resting on the arm, Raina got a view of the young man's back, his broad shoulders stretching out much farther than his father's own bone-y ones. It really was surprising that such a fit young man could ever be fearful of such a frail old man.

But she knew that if the bruises he usually tried to hide were any indication, then Master Hawkeye was not the weakling he seemed to be. There must be some kind of rage built up within him that gave him the ability to pack punches that could hit that hard.

Though drunk, Raina was scared that the two men in front of her might start throwing punches while she lay out of commission. She wasn't sure she would be able to find the strength to push herself off the couch if the opportunity arose, so she stuck with having a coughing fit in an attempt to remind her houseguests that she was still there.

The sound seemed to break the tension between the two men.

"Consider it a lesson." Master Hawkeye spoke lowly, anger bubbling just beneath the surface at the audacity of his son to speak to him in such a way. With his hands planted firmly on his hips, the man leaned in closer to the younger one, making sure that he heard every word. "She needs to learn not to overindulge."

"You know that's not what you were trying to do." Surprisingly, even in the face of his father's threatening demeanor, Ray would not back down. He stood – unmoving – in front of the young girl on the couch, forming a human shield to keep her away from the old alchemist. "I would suggest you stop before you do something you'll come to regret."

The two men stared menacingly at each other. The only thing that broke their gaze was another coughing fit coming from the third body in the room. This time, Raina didn't even need to force the cough forward. She was beginning to feel nauseous and felt as though the room was spinning. All she wanted to do was sleep.

Noticing her pallor, Ray turned to face her and crouched beside her head, ignoring his father who still stood behind him.

"Miss Mustang?" He called out, but Raina felt as though her lips had been sewn shut. The heaviness she had been feeling in her limbs had now travelled to every part of her body. Even the effort of forming words at this point was too much. She tried to make eye contact with him, but even her eyelids felt like they were being weighed down. "Can you stand?"

The girl heard what he was asking, but it took her a moment to make sense of the words. Even after she had put everything together, her lips wouldn't move to answer his question.

Ray waited a moment before acting. Even with blurred vision, Raina registered the feeling of a strong pair of arms lifting her from the couch. She fought back the urge to vomit as she was held tightly against her housemate's broad chest. If the situation had been any different, she would have been flushed from being in such close proximity to the young man. However, as it was, she was flushed for a completely different reason.

Ignoring his father's deadly look, Ray carefully carried the young girl out of the room.

It took every ounce of strength in Raina's body to keep herself from puking all over the man as he walked up the staircase at a snail's pace. She appreciated his effort to be gentle with her, but even the gentle sway of his steps was sending her head into a tailspin. All she could do was breathe deeply and count down the seconds until they made it to her room.

Before she knew it, she heard a door being creaked open. Just a few more steps and she was being placed down on the soft woolen blanket of her bed. Grateful for the return to a solid surface, the girl curled up on her side and brought her knees to her stomach, willing the world to stop spinning long enough for her to draw the strength to give her housemate a word of thanks.

However, her lips still felt too heavy to move.

She could feel sleep claiming her as she continued to struggle against the seemingly never-ending spinning that plagued her head. Before falling unconscious, she heard a soft thud and sigh coming from the other side of the room.

With sleep claiming her, the last thought she had was that she had never heard her housemate leave the room.

* * *

A few hours later, Raina awoke to the world still spinning. Though her vision was clear and she could just make out the moon shining through the lone window of her room, it did nothing to help the visual distortions that remained from the alcohol.

_Oh, she was going to hurl._

Without warning, she bolted up into a sitting position, the urge too hard to fight. Right before she opened her mouth – resolute on expelling the toxins from her body and dealing with the embarrassment of the situation later – a bucket was placed under her chin. Too nauseous to care where it had come from, Raina allowed nature to take over.

The alcohol tasted even worse on its second trip up her throat. A slight burning in her nose signaled that some of it had probably come out that way, too. It could have been minutes or it could have been hours, that she sat there with her head in the bucket. The ill feeling that currently plagued her seemed like it was never going to end.

Even after she had rid herself of the contents of her stomach, she couldn't bring herself to stop dry heaving. In the distance, she could hear someone releasing choked sobs, it took her a moment to realize that those were coming from her.

It also took her a moment to realize that she soft pressure that lay on her back was a hand.

She wanted to recoil from the touch, her skin slick with sweat and dampening the fabric of both her button down and skirt – however, a face in her peripheral caused her to pause. It wasn't Master Hawkeye like she had thought. Even through the tears that had gathered in her eyes, she could just make out the face of Ray Hawkeye.

His blonde hair was just as it had been earlier and he still wore his usual cotton shirt and slacks, signaling that he had never turned in for the night. If she looked behind him, she would have noticed a blanket sitting by the door, telltale evidence that he had remained by her side after putting her to bed.

He had even thought to grab a bucket, knowing exactly where the night was going to lead.

After several minutes of dry heaving, Raina finally felt as though she had regained her composure. She was somewhat worried about her hair, knowing that when she leaned forward, it usually got in her way – but Ray's other rough hand had gathered it behind her back and was holding it away from the bucket. She was so grateful for his actions that she almost cried.

She hated crying, though and willed herself to keep from weeping any longer. She was already embarrassed by the tears she had allowed to escape during her moment of weakness.

Seeing that she was feeling a bit better after getting rid of the contents of her stomach, Ray set the bucket down wordlessly beside the bed. His warm hands left her body and reached for the side table. Though the room continued to spin for her, Raina could make out the glint of a glass in the moonlight.

He was passing her a cup of water.

She was still nauseous, but the dry skin of her lips begged for some sort of liquid to dampen the surface. Ray held the glass to her mouth and she took a careful sip at first to see how her stomach would react. After a few more small sips, she found herself grabbing the glass herself and greedily throwing the water back.

Ray watched as she finished the drink, not leaving a single drop behind.

"Careful," He warned, taking the glass from her grip. He set it down on the table, next to a large pitcher of water. Noticing her longing gaze, he gave her a look of reproach. "You don't want to irritate your stomach."

His voice was gravelly from exhaustion and even in the dim light of the room, she could tell his amber eyes were bloodshot. It was much past his bedtime.

"What time is it?" She heard herself ask, though it sounded more like a whisper than anything. Though she could make out the moon shining through her window, it was too low in the sky for it to still be considered night. It must have been getting closer to dawn. Ray soon proved her theory correct.

"It's four," He remarked, handing her a cloth to wipe her mouth with. She accepted it gratefully. "In two hours, it will be time for breakfast."

Raina groaned at the thought of food, her stomach uneasy just at the mention. At her adverse reaction, Ray fixed her with a warning glare.

"None of that." His hand reached out to retrieve the cloth after she was done, laying it flat on the table beside the now empty glass. "You're going to have to eat something. I have some frozen bacon I'm going to fix since greasy foods are supposed to help with hangovers."

Raina groaned again, this time in embarrassment. "I can't believe I drank enough to get a hangover."

"I can't either." Ray agreed, disapproval littering his tone. At such reproach, Raina could feel herself shrinking back into the pillows of her bed, trying to avoid his gaze. "Hopefully, you've learned your lesson."

Raina wanted to fight against the words of censure. She hated being scolded like a child – however, there was a glint of something in his eyes that gave her pause.

He had been worried.

"Don't drink like that with my father, ever again." It wasn't a suggestion; it was a command. "I'm only telling you this for your own good."

Remembering the look of morbid curiosity in Master Hawkeye's eyes and his movements towards her during her inebriation, Raina could feel herself nodding in agreement.

"Okay."

Ray's shoulders relaxed at her words, having expected a fight from the girl.

"Good." He filled her glass with water once more, before crouching back down and presenting it to her. "Drink a little bit more. Stay awake until I come back."

While she was confused by his words, she did as he said. Grabbing the bucket beside the bed, Ray walked from the room to dump its contents. By the time he got back, she had already finished her second glass of water and was lying back against her pillows, her strength having returned enough for her to situate herself underneath the covers.

Ray placed the bucket beside the bed once more, something she was grateful for.

"Thank you." Her voice was hoarse, but she hoped he could tell her thanks was genuine. Though her memory was fuzzy, she had a feeling that her housemate had saved her from a potentially dangerous situation.

Ray seemed surprised, but nodded nonetheless. "You're welcome."

Raina snuggled into her pillows, trying hard not to turn her head too suddenly. She felt better after vomiting – however, she knew she couldn't get too comfortable. One wrong move and the room would be spinning once more.

After settling, she noticed that Ray had gone to sit by the door, a blanket spread out over his lap.

"Are you going to stay?" The words sprung forth before she could think better of them. Truth be known, she hoped that he would. She felt much safer with him in the room.

"Yes."

The look on his face made it obvious that even if she had wanted to argue, it wouldn't have changed his mind. She could see from the determined look in his eye that he had chosen to be her guard dog for the rest of the night.

Raina turned her back to the young man, desperate to hide the blush that flooded her cheeks.

"Good night, Mr. Mustang."

"Good night, Miss Mustang."


End file.
